Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Cheat Day? ... Why would you cheat yourself!

What do the words "healthy lifestyle" mean to you? Eating Right? Exercising? An all around effort to be healthy?

I think alot of people don't really understand what it means, while it probably means different things to different people I think there is common ground in most meanings. And I am not criticizing anyone in this post other than myself, I am guilty of everything I am writing about but I  also have started to evolve my train of thought on the subject.

In the past I would eat healthy 6 days a week and workout most of those days. Then the magical day 7 know as the "CHEAT DAY" would find itself on my front door step. I will be the first to admit I used to love that day! I would treat myself to anything I wanted for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I would convince myself that what I was doing was OK, I worked out and watched what I ate all week for crying out loud! Things have changed for me, CHEAT DAYS and my goal of living a healthy lifestyle cannot coexist in my world. I hate the term and I hate the idea behind it. Who really would want to cheat themselves? Not me! Also why in the world are we rewarding ourselves with food?!  For me it has the same agenda as emotional eating, when bad things happen emotional eaters eat, so when we do good things we are supposed to eat also? This makes no sense to me, and I think it goes against the idea of a healthy LIFESTYLE. Why not reward yourself with a new shirt or a day at the spa, it could be anything other than food.

So the new me is done with cheat days, its no longer a word in my vocabulary. I don't eat healthy foods so that I can eat whatever I want on a certain day. I eat whatever I want on any day! I just happen to choose healthy food on most of those days because I have chosen to live a healthy lifestyle. That doesn't mean I cant eat junk food or fast food. In fact the other night I took my 8 year old cousin to see Toy Story 3, afterwards he wanted to go eat at Five Guys and I said ok.  I ate a cheeseburger, we split a order of fries, and I drank water. My meal had 1,150 calories. I knew exactly what I was eating and I knew exactly how many calories it had before I ate it, to me that is living a healthy lifestyle. I know the food was not healthy, but I also knew that I don't eat like that everyday. There was no emotional eating involved, I was in complete control. I have learned to distinguish between when I am really hungry and when my emotions tell me I am hungry. I am achieving a health lifestyle by my own choice.

For people who use the cheat days I am in no way talking down at you, like I said before I am just as guilty as anyone else. I just wanted to give a different point of view. I really do believe that a healthy lifestyle is what you make it, and in my case I just wanted to be honest with myself.

BOTTOM LINE:  Never cheat yourself

Saturday, June 26, 2010

My good deed for the day...

So today the craziest thing happen to me. I was driving home from watching the USA soccer game and I passed this little girl playing in her front yard on a pretty busy road. I didn't notice anybody outside with her and as soon I passed her I just felt something was wrong! I looked in the rear view mirror and could still see her getting closer to the road. I knew right away I had to turn around and go back. I couldn't turn around because I had cars behind me and there were oncoming cars in the opposite lane. Somehow I just reacted, I made a right turn into someones yard and I could see her walking towards the road. I slammed on the gas and tore through about 3 peoples yards trying to get back to her. When I got close enough I jumped out of my truck and started to run in her direction. She looked me right in the eyes and smiled as she was about to step into oncoming traffic, thankfully I snatched her up before she could. She was one of the most beautiful little girls I have ever seen. I started to carry her back up to her house when her family ran outside yelling and screaming. They ran over to us and I have a feeling they thought I was trying to kidnap her but I quickly explained to them the what happened.

When I was walking back to my truck I felt so relieved, I got in and drove off. A few seconds later I got the weirdest feeling and my whole body started to shake! It freaked me out so I pulled over to calm down. I took some deep breaths and tried to relax myself. I don't what came over me, maybe my body was reacting to all the adrenaline? This all happened around 5 pm, I have felt weird ever since it happened. There has been so many times in life when I have seen something that was wrong and I didn't have the courage to say or do anything about it, and I regretted it every single time. Alot of what held me back in the past was my weight, I didn't want to attract attention to myself. As the weight comes off my confidence in myself increases. I have been in hiding for way to long and I am starting to bust out of this shell.

There was alot of traffic on that road today, it really burns me inside that nobody else stopped to help that little girl. She was only 3 years old, she didn't know any better. I am glad I was in the right place today. She probably has no idea that I helped her today, and she will never know what she has done to help me...

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Small Victory Today!

So today I experienced a small victory! I used to dread going to get my haircut because 1.) I hated the fact that I had to squeeze into those small salon chairs and 2.) I hated looking at my bloated face in the mirror for those 15-20 minutes. So today when I got to the salon and sat down in the chair I noticed a huge difference! I easy fit in the chair and actually had alot of room to spare! Also I noticed how much my face has changed, I actually liked what I was seeing for a change. I swear the small victories are sometimes the most rewarding. I felt really good today.

The next victory that I want extremely bad is being able to fly worry free, flying haunts me in every way! I hate going to airports even to pick people up because I know people stare and hope that I am not sitting next to them on their flight. I haven't been on a plane in a little over a year and half. When I was working I used to have to travel alot so I was often dealing with my worst nightmares. I would often pay of pocket to upgrade to business class or first class so that I could avoid some embarrassment. Also since I am currently looking for work nationwide I am freaked out by the fact that I might have to fly to different parts of the country for interviews, I am down 88 lbs since the last time I flew but it still makes me extremely nervous.

I know one thing though, when I do reach that victory its going to be an amazing day!!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

My First 5K event!

So yesterday I participated in my first 5k event! It was the Susan G. Komen for the Cure 5k. For years I have been wanting to participate in this event but I was always ashamed to because of my weight. The truth of the matter is I have spent most of my life in hiding because of my weight ,and that's no way to live. I used to worry about people staring or about what they were thinking when they saw me, or the whispering and the snickering. But very recently I came to the conclusion that the same people who would criticize me for being overweight are very likely the same people who would criticize me for trying to get healthy. I actually think there are people like that, they just want to beat you down for any possible reason. I don't care what those people think anymore, this is my life and I am taking it back and I wont let anyone stop me, and YOU shouldn't either.

So the night before the race I started to feel nervous, I set 6 alarms on my cell phone so I wouldn't oversleep! I woke up every hour that night, its funny how your brain knows you have a big event the next day. 630 am finally came around and I got up showered, had breakfast and headed to the event. I met my mom and little brother at 745 am and we started walking up to the event. It was already hot and humid that early in the morning! I was amazed at how many people were actually there, I had no idea the event was that big! I instantly felt self conscious and uncomfortable. This might sound weird but thank god I had my sunglasses, I don't know why but I always feel like they are a small protective shield for me. I really wanted to turn around and walk back to my car but I wasn't going to let myself do that. I was there and ready to do what I came to do. We had about 30 minutes until start time so we walked around to see all the different booths.

This is a pic of me and my mom waiting for the start, I think you can tell from my facial expression I was feeling a little out of my element.

They finally announced it was time for us to approach the starting line. Once again I was amazed at how many people were participating! We walked up to the starting area and 5 minutes later we were off! It felt great to pass the starting line, I knew I was doing this and there was no going back. Me and my brother teamed up to walk together while my mom walked with her friend. The energy I felt while walking with all those people was indescribable. I slowly but surely started to feel that I belonged there like everyone else. About halfway through mile 1 I again realized how hot it was, the heat waves were bouncing off the ashpalt and onto my body like rain drops. I just told myself one foot in front of the other until I cross that finish line.

This is pic of all the people as we started the race: 25,000 people registered!

We reached the mile one marker and the clock said 22:35 , now my goal was just to show up and walk the event, but deep down inside I had a goal for a 20 min mile pace. When I saw that clock I knew I had to pick up the pace and get moving!

I started to push myself harder, I knew I could make up the 2:35 on the hills. I have strong legs and the will power to push myself up those hills! And that's what I did! When people were slowing down on hills I was passing right by them. It was such an awesome feeling, I know a few people did a double take! I marched up every hill like it was nothing! The people on the sidelines cheering us on were amazing, a few people even yelled out my bib number and said looking good! It felt good to know people were behind me, I have the bad habit of always expecting people to be against me.

Finally reached the mile 2 marker! I had shaved exactly 2 minutes of my pace time!

After reaching the 2 mile marker I started to develop a blister or something on my left foot, I should not have worn my Nike shocks since they aren't completely broken in yet! Blister or no blister I wasn't slowing down. By this time I was soaking in sweat, the heat was almost unbearable. A saw a few people quit the race because they couldn't take it. I was feeling amazing right about now, I loved looking behind me and seeing all those people. I am used to being in the back of the pack but not on this day!

The finish line was finally in sight and a huge smile filled my face. Alot of people started to run towards the finish, I wanted to do the same but I haven't built up the courage to run in public yet. I will fight that battle on a different day.

I finally got to the finish line and saw my time! 1:00:13 !! I would say I accomplished my goal of a 20 min mile pace!

I don't have a word to describe how I felt after crossing the finish line. Yeah alot of people can walk 3.1 miles, its not that huge of a thing to most people. To me it was more than just walking 3.1 miles, I do that at the gym 2-3 times a week. It was the fact that I came out and showed 30,000 people that I am taking my health back! I wasn't hiding that day, I was out in the open doing something that I have always wanted to do. A huge wall came down inside me after crossing that finish line,I was so proud of myself.

This is me right after the race, soaking wet with sweat! It was truly a sweating_it_off day!

Another pic of me and my crazy mama after the race!

This was my first 5k event and it wont be my last. I fought my own battle that day while helping to fight the battle of breast cancer. I was able to raise $160.00 dollars for the cause, and I want to recognize the people who sponsored me in one way or another.

Ryan Sobus RD - http://www.healthydietsinc.com/ *my personal RD*
@FitInMyHeart - http://www.footdr69.wordpress.com/
@travelgirl007 - www.beachbodycoach.com/travelgirl007
@DareToBecome - http://www.daretobecome.com/
@prnewman - http://www.istilltri.blogspot.com/
@BetterFitBody - http://www.betterfitbody.com/

Thanks for the support everyone!

check out my slide show of pictures from the event!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Was that really me?!

So I found some pictures of myself at my heaviest weight which was right around 480 lbs. I cant believe that was me! I find myself mad for letting myself go like that, even though I am heading in the opposite direction I am still pissed at myself for all that lost time. I usually avoided taking pictures in the past, but I am glad that I somehow aloud these to be taken. They just add more fuel to my fire, and confirm that I will never go back to my old lifestyle. Actually you cant even call "THAT" a lifestyle because there was no actual LIFE involved.

I have decided to share these pictures with everyone. This is a huge step for me, I am letting go and not holding anything back or inside. I want my mistakes to help others if possible. Here goes nothing!

Lets see how I look today compared to then.

I would love some feedback on these pictures, I know I have lost weight but sometimes my mind doesn't believe it. That's something I will defiantly have to work on.

Thanks for your support!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Is it weird that I love yardwork?

What a day today! Woke up around 9am, had breakfast and took off to the gym. I busted out a quick 30 min on the treadmill and 30 min on the elliptical. Now in the past an hour of cardio would have me feeling like I wanted to limp home and pass out!! But now I feel like I can work out hard and still have enough energy do other things after I leave the gym. So after the gym I headed to my moms house, she called me last night and asked if I could come over and help her get some mulch and spread it. Now to most people that sounds like a chore, but to me it sounds like a fun workout! I love yard work, I find it relaxing!

So first thing we did was go get 2 cubic yards of mulch.

The plan was to spread it on the side of my moms house.

Before Pic:

After Pic:

This is another project I did for my mom last summer, we built a raised flower bed. We are in the process of making a lower flower bed in front of it.

This is me after working in the yard all day!

Working in the yard is a great workout, you don't have to be in a gym to burn those calories! You should try different activities in these warmer months such as hiking, walking outside, roller blading, biking, paddle boating, kayaking, swimming. You could also organize a big family athletic game such as soccer, football, softball, kickball, baseball, and my favorite volleyball. Or you could have a huge water balloon fight!! Bottom line is get outside and have some fun! Yes its hot outside but that's why we have water and ice so use it!


Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Meditation after working out!

OK I know what you are all thinking when the word meditation comes to mind.

Was I right? Just say I was! :-)

For me meditation is something I do after I workout and stretch. It helps me stay focused on my weight loss goals. Often times after I have an extremely successful weight-in I find myself feeling like I can cheat or take it easy. I sometimes get to comfortable and I hate that feeling. Yes I have lost over 80 lbs but I am still far from my overall goal and I need to constantly remind myself of that fact. At the same time I think its important to set small goals for yourself because sometimes the big picture can be overwhelming. But back to the meditation. All I do really is find a place in the gym where I can just sit down with my eyes closed and reflect. I also usually listen to two songs which I will share in a bit. I sit there and think about why I am working out, why I choose to live a healthy lifestyle, and how I plan to meet my goals. I mean for me I need this daily reminder, it helps keep me on track. Whatever your goals are, whether they have to do with your weight or not, I think everyone could benefit from this reflection time.

The first song that I listen to is: The Mickey Theme from the Rocky. For those of you who don't know I am a HUGE Rocky fan. They are more than just movies to me, they symbolize never giving up and always fighting until the end. And even more importantly they remind me of the wonderful memories I have of my Dad and me watching the movies together, and how he was always in my corner.

The second song is Enya - Waterfall. I wont go into much detail about what this song means to me for personal reasons, but it is extremely relaxing.

THE CHALLENGE:I want everyone to try a 5-10 min meditation after working out and email me about your experience, share anything you would like with me such as: what music you listened to, what you thought about, if you liked or disliked it, etc.

Email me at: sweating_it_off@hotmail.com

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Dim the lights please!!

So today I had an appointment with my RD today. Everything went great, we made a few minor changes to my meal plan. I am definitely glad I made the decision last September to seek out the help of a dietician. She is extremely supportive and always takes the time to answer all my questions in a way that I can understand. Also accountability is a huge thing with me, knowing that I have to go see her ever couple of months helps keep me on track. Of course I wont be making these visits forever, but for me this is part of the learning process I need to help me continue my healthy lifestyle.

I also weighed in today!
*drum roll please*

I weighed: 397 lbs!

That's right people, I have knocked down the 400lb door! And I will never ever walk back through that door again!

This is a huge milestone for me and I thank everyone for their support!