Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Ever judge a book by its cover?

I was in the gym today doing some step ups when a man I have never met before started a conversation with me. The conversation started by him asking me if I liked the team that was written on my sweatshirt. We talked about the team for about 2 minutes and then he began to tell me how he used to be alot bigger than he was now. He told me he had lost 200 lbs and wanted to lose another 40 lbs. He had lost all the weight just by working out and eating healthy. He used to wear a size 60 pants and was in the 40's now. We had a great conversation about weight loss and healthy living.

Now if he had not started a conversation with me I would have never even thought he would have such an amazing story. Unfortunately in the past I have judged people based on their covers. Sounds kind of ironic right? An overweight guy who has judged people based on the outside picture that is portrayed. For example when I used to see people on who were addicted to drugs and alcohol I would always think to myself  "wow those people are so weak, they cant even control themselves". But I was the guy who couldn't control his eating! I would convince myself that I had deeper issues that they couldn't see without even thinking that maybe they had the same issues. I hated that I looked at people like that. Whats even worse is that I used to judge overweight people also. I am not proud of it. I would see large people and think they just didn't care about themselves, or they were to lazy to workout. I would look in the mirror and say I wasn't like them, in my head I put them down to make myself feel better about how I looked. It was a cowardly act but I am just being honest.

I no longer look at people like I used to. I don't want to be judged by my cover and I don't want to judge others by theirs. Everyone has a story, you might not ever get to hear it but it exists.


Renée (@lowfatpie) said...

Yes, I have judged and I still do. It's a terrible trait of mine but at least I admit it and I'm fully aware of it.

I have to say though, the "judging" I do of people who are overweight is more of something in my brain wanting to reach out to them! This is also not a good thing though - just like religion or politics, you should not shove weight loss and health down people's throats either.

I'm working on changing this, but I know that mostly the change has to come within myself. The more self-confident I become, the less judgemental.

thanks for the reminder! praticising non-judgmental behaviour can only be a good thing!

seattlerunnergirl said...

This is a great post. I think we all "judge" in one way or another, whether that's just having assumptions about people, or letting it go even farther than that. I LOVE that you got to hear that man's story at the gym - it really does go to show that we don't know jack when we look at someone we've never met. Thanks for sharing!

Honey B. said...

I have done this, and worse than that, I'm stand-offish enough IRL that I'm not sure I would have gotten so far as to get into a conversation! Makes me think about what I'm missing...?

~LORI~ said...

great post. good for that man....i have felt the same as you said about overweight people.....i will see a HUGE girl walking around the mall eating a cinnabon while walking and i think ewww, but what about the cake i probably ate at home a week before that? ya know? :) i know what you mean....but through all the BL casting stuff, i have learned so much and have met some wonderful people who deal with the same daily struggles as me on their weight journey....

aperfectversionofmyself said...

I judge people all the time, without evening realizing it.

It wasn't until recently that I've made a conscious effort to stop doing so - because the only reason I was judging them was so that I could compare myself to them and I'm working on not measuring myself by anybody else's standards anymore.