Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Never know where you're going until you know where you've been...

So on Saturday I turned the big 30! Hard to believe right? (just agree with me!) Now I have never been big on birthdays but this one really meant something to me. This birthday was the first one in a long time in which I felt like I was on the right path in my life. I actually feel like I am in control of the direction I go from here. I can stay on the right path or veer off and make a u-turn towards the dead end road that I don't want to drive down. I am more aware of my inner workings than I have ever been. I can admit to myself when I fail and I can applaud myself when I succeed. When I do I fail I choose not to beat myself up because ultimately that only keeps me down longer. I think being aware of your short comings and being able to rationally "discuss" them with yourself is a big deal, at least for me it is. I spent so many years of my life lying to myself, disguising my actions,  and burying my feelings deep inside where even I couldn't reach them.

I am done with that way of living. I didn't reach all the goals that I had set for myself for when I turned 30. First of all I always thought I'd be married with kids by now, which is kind of hard to do when you don't let people in. I know the my weight has a lot to do with that and I know I will work past it, when the right time comes it will happen.

Career wise I thought I would be a little farther than where I am now but that was totally out of my control. Spending 14 months out of work will put a lot of things into perspective about everything in your life and my career goals have changed because of that and I am confident I will reach the goals I have set for myself. I am happy with my new job and I really enjoy the people I work with.

Health wise I reached some of my goals and I have laid a strong foundation to reach the rest of them. When I decided I wanted to lose weight in May 2009 I had set the goal that I wanted to be 320 pounds by my 30th birthday. I didn't reach that goal and thats ok. I know I will reach it and actually I will reach way beyond it! One thing I did do was rid myself of sleep apnea. Well a doctor hasn't told me this but I know its gone, my body knows it. I feel great health wise. I surely don't feel 30 years old and in my opinion I don't  look it.

I am declaring this my breakout year!!  I expect many great things from myself and I cant wait to see what unfolds. I have so much support in my life that I have no option but to succeed. The funny thing is I have never met most of the people who have made such a huge difference in my life and who have supported me beyond imagination. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart and I hope our paths cross one day. Because of you I promise I will do my best to always pay it forward.


fitegicplanners said...

What a beautiful post Alan - it is clear that you are not only "exercising" but "innercising". This journey is at least 50% an inside job.

I am certain this will one of many break out years for you - I speak from 24 more years of experience to know this is true. The best is yet to come and the best is here and now. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Cassie said...

you are older than me... ha ha ;-)

Ragemichelle said...

Happy Birthday! Congrats on the sleep apnea thing. My husband has been wearing a c-pap for years now. Since he's lost weight, his has improved greatly, but he still needs the mask. he also has 20 years on you. :)

Cathy Cox said...

Your breakout year! Yes! I love that :) Go for it all. You've accomplished so much and I'm so happy to read how you're starting this year out on some pretty amazing notes. New & great things to come!

Alexia @ Dimple Snatcher said...

well, you must know how handsome of a man you are?
happy belated! i'm glad turning 30 has given you so much perspective. here's to a healthful life.

gorgeous post. i love this community, too.

Pam said...

Thanks for sharing, Alan. You are a strong and determined person and nothing will get in your way of success! 30 is the new 25, didn't you know? :)

Keep on, keepin' on!

TJ said...

Thanks for sharing this post with us Alan! You have come so far- keep up the great work my friend! :)