Sunday, November 20, 2011

Weekly Check In - 11/20/2011

Checking in for the week!

Usually I do a vlog but I didn't get a chance to this week. I had a really off week this past week. Didn't feel good the first half of it, felt sluggish which slowed me down during workouts, and also did horrible with my water intake. On top of that it was a VERY stressful week at work which isn't an excuse but it's just the truth.

I weighed in this morning and I was up 4 lbs. I was a little irked but I had a feeling I would gain some this week. After speaking with Amer he told me not to really worry about it, he said its very unlikely that I would gain 4 lbs of fat in one week and I definitely agree with him on that. I am positive that the combination of my stressful work week, poor water intake (yes you can gain weight from not drinking enough water), a few skipped meals, and my lack of sleep all contributed to my gain this week and I am not going to let it get to me. Each day is a new day with new opportunities for improvement.

This weeks goals are to get back on track with my water and get to sleep on time!

What are your goals for the week?

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Thank you for always being there for me...

This post is to all the people in the fitfluential, fitblog, fitbloggin, and many more. 

Today was my birthday, we wont go into how old I am :)  But I did want to say that I am so touched by all the birthday wishes I have received from everyone on twitter and facebook. I wanted to write a post to thank all the people who I have met through facebook and twitter, many of you have made a huge difference in my life.

I have never really been a big birthday person, mostly because for most of my life a birthday was just a reminder of another year of failure in the weight loss department. Things are a little different know. I'll be honest and say I am not anywhere near where I want to be yet but I haven't given up for the last two years, and I wont ever give up. I made the commitment in May 2009 that I was going to finally lose the weight, the road since then has been bumpy but my engine is still full of gas and to me that is a huge win. In the years before 2009 I always gave up after a few weeks of trying and I always hated myself for it.

The difference in my life now is even though I may have a bad day, week, or month I always pick myself up and keep moving forward. It's hard for me to admit that I need people, it's hard for me to reach out and say I need your help. For most of my life I haven't had anybody to lean on, I have always had to figure things out on my own and just hope for the best. I can proudly say that I have survived almost all the situations that life has thrown at me. The one thing I haven't been able to do on my own is lose the weight. Like I said before it's not easy for me to say I need people but honestly I need all of you. My life has been drastically changed in a positive way by you. I try to always have a game face on but I struggle just like anyone else. Some days I want to quit, just give up, skip workouts, binge eat, etc. On the bad days I often think of many of you. I see your faces in my head, I hear your voices in my ear, and I think about your battles and all that you all have been through and that's when the switch goes off in my head. I tell myself Alan you can do this, Alan you are not alone, Alan you WILL do this. I no longer ask myself if I can do this, I know I can and I am.

I have lost most of my old friends since I started this journey. Unfortunately I was forced to choose between their friendship or a healthy lifestyle, and its obvious what I have chosen. You all have become my friends and my family in a way. I rely on you more than you know. I just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for always being there for me, I hope you know that I am always here for you.


Checking In - 11/13/2011

Thursday, November 10, 2011

I dont want to start tomorrow...

My choice to fight obesity and take back my health has been a rocky road, as it is for most people. I love the fight, I love the results, I love how I feel, and I love when I am in control. In my case my battle has somewhat caused me to cut off a lot of people in my life. I mean I have friends and family but I don't see them that often, my healthy lifestyle doesn't seem to sync with theirs. I never realized how much food is such a center of attention on a lot of social scenes until I started trying to lose weight. It's always "hey lets go out to dinner" or "lets grab lunch", etc.  I often decline these offers because for me.. right now... I need to stay away from those environments. I hate that I have to make that choice but its not an option, and its not easy. At the same time it's not easy living life at 400 plus pounds, its not easy to look at myself in the mirror, and it's not easy to face the world in this body.

I don't lie or make up excuses about why I don't want to go out, I just tell people the truth...that's the bottom line. A lot of times the response I get is "well you can start your diet tomorrow", actually no I cant. I don't want to start tomorrow, next week, or next year. I spent most of my adult life telling myself I'll start tomorrow, eventually tomorrow becomes never. I proudly choose to start today.

I am thankful for the people who understand my decisions, I don't mean to be rude or anti social, I just want to reach my goals and I wont let anybody get in my way. Thankfully my immediate family understands my situation, they know when I say no it's because I want to live. You choose to spend your nights as you wish... if you need me you can find me in the gym.