Thursday, December 1, 2011

Dreams can come true..

I had a dream the other night that has been on my mind all week. All I remember is that I was sitting in a window seat on a airplane and I instantly got that sick to my stomach feeling as I saw that people were starting to board the airplane, I was worried about somebody sitting next to me. Next I looked down to see how much space I was occupying in the seat next to me and to my surprise I could see the space in between the two seats, I was shocked. Then somebody came and sat next to me and I just sat there for a minute waiting for them to complain about sitting next to the fat guy. Oddly they didn't complain at all, they looked over at me and flashed a smile. Inside my head I didn't believe this was happening, was it possible that I lost the weight and I could fly without worries?! Then it hit me.... the seat belt..... I hadn't tried to buckle it yet! I quickly grabbed the belt and slowly brought the two ends together across my lap..... CLICK! I looked down in shock, I just fastened my seat belt without a belt extender!

Then I woke up...


 You see at my size flying is an extremely nerve racking experience. Most people who fly generally only need to worry about packing their back and getting to the airport on time. I however have to worry about those things in addition to the things my self consciousness has me worrying about:


  • Where exactly is my seat on the plane?
  • Will the plane be full ?
  • Will it be possible to have a empty seat next to me? 
  • What type of connector is on the seat beat? (They are generally two types and I own one of each, its so embarrassing to ask the flight attendant for en extender so I bring my own)
  • Will I be able to board the plane in the earlier groups?
  • What if the plane is filled to capacity?
  • Will someone complain about sitting next to me?

Then to add to it there is the anxiety I feel as soon as I walk into the airport. I feel like everyone is looking at me and praying that they don't have to sit next to me. Sitting at the gate waiting for a flight is one of the worse feelings I have ever felt in my life. 

I haven't been on a airplane in over two years. The fact that I refuse to fly affects a range of aspects in my life. I cant visit family unless they are within driving distance. It's affects my job and the possibility of getting a promotion that would require more travel. It also definitely kills my chances at future job opportunities in other parts of the country or world, how do you tell a potential employer who wants to meet you that you don't fly?! 

I have no doubt that the dream I had the other night will come true one day. I am very much looking forward to it, there is a whole world out there and I want to see it!










11 comments:

Skinny Emmie said...

It will come true, and you'll get your ass on a plane to come visit me. Get it, boy!

Marie said...

I look forward to the day when I can read your story about enjoying to fly! :-)

Mary @ TheWeightress said...

You've got this! It will SO come true, and all the gals will be hoping they get to sit next to the cute guy in the window seat :)

Jillian said...

I'm so sorry that your weight keeps you from seeing the world. I've been fortunate in that I've never had to ask for a seatbelt extender, however before I lost weight this summer, my belt was so tight that my legs were literally numb and I had bruises on my thighs.

I hope this dream comes true for you sooner, rather than later. <3

sharla @ 262milejourney said...

Oh, Alan. It will absolutely come true. You are on the right path and I demand to be on the flight plan when you hit this goal.

Tiffany said...

This is GOING to happen for you Alan, and it will be better than you could ever have dreamed! and when it does you should just plan a trip around the country... and make sure you have a stop in Portland, OR. :)

Carbie Girl said...

The last plane trip I was on was probably 4 years ago and I know every minute of that anxiety. Thinking the aisle seat has more room where you can "flow" over into the aisle if needs be.. but then you have to worry about people bumping you everytime they need to walk past.. or the flight crew bumping you with the refreshment cart... this dream of yours will come true because its what you want for yourself... just as I hope it comes true for the rest of us!

Miss April said...

I understand your fears completely. This dream can come true and it will. Travel is a huge motivation for me. London is on my bucket list and Australia is my dream trip. I also want to go somewhere tropical, as I saw that on your goal page. I hold myself back from these major trips due to weight and I'm sick of it. Travel the world, it's waiting for you. You will get there.... :)

KCLAnderson (Karen) said...

Dreams are very powerful and I have no doubt that you will realize this particular dream, Alan. No doubt whatsoever.

diaryofafabgirl.me said...

Traveling is one of my greatest passions. The first (and only time) I had to ask for a seat belt extender, I was mortified. There were a couple other times where I could have used one. One I didn't use the seat at all and the other, my then boyfriend forced the buckle in. I just prayed I didn't need to use the restroom because I didn't want anyone to know I barely fit.

bbubblyb said...

Before I lose my weight the last flight I took I bought 3 seats for my husband and I and I have to say the anxiety was totally gone. I felt no worries and I enjoyed the flight. Though it's a pricey thing to do I think it was well well worth it. But I know there will come a day when you don't need to even worry about any of that.