Why I keep going? What keeps you motivated? How do you bounce back after a bad week? I get these questions A LOT. Truth be told a lot keeps me going.
I would be lying if I didn't say that part of what keeps me going is the vanity items that come with weight loss. It's true I want a nice body. I want nice large biceps, I want to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see. I want to be able to buy clothes from any store of my choice. All these things are great and I think many of us trying to lose weight want them. However these items are only a small portion of what keep me going. Don't get me wrong, I WANT all the vanity items that I talk about above but they aren't what keeps my fire inside raging. They aren't what pushes me to get to the gym even when I am dead tired, they aren't what get me to prep my meals every week, they aren't what gets me through the workouts when all I want to do is give up!
First and foremost I want my health, I want control of it. I want to tell my body what it can and can't do and not the other way around. I want to keep my blood pressure in the normal range which thankfully it has been for awhile now. I don't want to be scared to go see a doctor because of what they will say about my weight. I NEVER want to have sleep apnea again, thankfully I got rid of it after the first 60 lbs I lost. I never want to hear a doctor say to me again "You are pre diabetic". We often take our health for granted until we no longer have it, I dont want to take mine for granted.
Also another HUGE part of what keeps me going is that fact that I want a wife and a family. I want to meet a woman and fall in love and I want to spend the rest of my life exploring everything her. I want to build a family with her, I want all that very badly. I am really tired of being alone and not sharing my life with everyone but that is how I need to be for right now. I know many people have told me I can lose weight and have a relationship and family at the same time and many people I know have done it. But honestly everyone's journey is different and we all will reach our goals in different ways and this is the way I have chosen to reach mine. Some of the reasons why I have decided to do it this way is because when I have a wife and kids I want to give myself to them whenever they need me. I don't want to have to tell my wife I will be home late every night because I need to go to the gym. I don't want to leave her so that I can go deal my MY weight issues. Yes I would love for us to both workout together and go to the gym together but I want it to be a choice we make together and not because I MUST do it to save my life. I don't want to miss doing homework my with kids, I don't want to miss tucking them in and reading to them. I don't want them to always wonder why I am always working out and not home with them. I don't want to tell them I am too tired to play outside. I want my future family to know that they come first to me and that everything else comes second. Of course I plan to continue living a healthy lifestyle for the rest of my life but like I said before I want it to be a choice of staying healthy at that point and not a must to save my life. I am not saying I have 100% locked my heart away until I reach some magic number on the scale, all I am saying is that I am very focused right now and it is possible that I would let someone into my life but I would have to feel that it was THE ONE I wanted to be with forever.
On top of all of this another HUGE thing that keeps me going is my Mama, Sisters, Brothers, Nieces and Nephews. I want to be there for all of them. I want to take care of my Mama as she gets older, I don't want her to ever worry about getting older because I will always be there for her as long as I am breathing. I want all my siblings to know that their big brother is someone they can always lean on and come to when they need anything no matter how big or small. I want my nieces and nephews to know that I love them as if they were my own. That I love them with all my heart and even when I have my own children one day they will always remain in my heart and that I would move worlds for them if they needed it.
That is what keeps me going!