Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Confession of a Binge Eater

There are people in my life who I love more than anything in this world and when something bad happens to them it kills me inside. I literally shut down and it feels as if my whole world has been flipped upside down. When I find myself in this whirlwind of emotions I also tend to crave food, LOTS  of food. Not because I am hungry or because I am having a typical craving. It's because I want that fear and pain I feel inside to go away and when I eat myself into a food coma I temporarily feel better. I am a binge eater, there is no other way to put it. Tonight I felt these feelings and fighting them is no easy battle. The voices in my head tell me to EAT EAT EAT and I am telling them NO NO NO. I am not hungry! Binge eating is something I have been battling for a long time. Thankfully for the last few years I have been in control for the most part but it's definitely been mentally exhausting. I have no solution for my issues with food, I can only take it day by day and fight as hard as I can. Tonight I fought a battle, instead of eating food I called a friend and just talked. I didn't talk about my urges to eat, we just talked that normal day to day type stuff and after awhile I felt better.

Today I won, I am thankful for that.



8 comments:

Tracie said...

Of all the addictions, I think that food addictions just may be the worst.

With other addictions, you can eventually stop the behavior by no longer consuming or doing the things you're addicted to. With food addictions, you can't just stop eating - otherwise we're into a whole other issue - eating disorders.

I love it when people claim that food addictions aren't real. People can be addicted to anything and it's basically been scientifically proven that the combination of fat, sugar and salt (and also casein found in dairy) IS addictive and the withdrawal from them is very real.

kathyj333 said...

It's so hard to get beyond a food addiction. Good for you.

Yum Yucky said...

This is a testament to how far you've come, Alan. I've never been a full blown binge eater (although I once felt I was very close to going down that path). I continue to follow the stories of those who do and/or have struggled with binging. It's for the sake of understanding and gain better insight, which helps me not to judge. It's easy for people on the outside looking in to judge, and I don't ever want to be that way. Thanks for sharing your strength today. XO

Jody - Fit at 55 said...

Such a great post & you are winning the battle!!! Binge eating is a disease & you will most likely fight it your whole life per a FB friend that is a recovering one.. BUT she has conquered for years & you can do this! An inspiration!

sharla@262milejourney said...

Proud of you for sticking to your 'no'. I'm always here if you need a talk to help distract. ((HUGS))

Lauren @ Oatmeal after Spinning said...

Every single day is a celebration and a triumph! I take it day by day and know that it will add up.
Good for you, Alan!! :)

Tiera Kawaiola said...

Thanks for sharing this, Alan. And I'm so proud of you for saying no!

Jodi @ Jodi Fat or Not said...

I've come along way with binge eating but still struggle a lot. Thanks for being open about it!