Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Just A Walk

This afternoon I was lucky enough to take a walk with my Mama, just the two of us. We hadn't planned on walking today but I stopped by her house to visit while I waited for the gym to open and she wanted to go for a walk so I decided to join her and then head to the gym.

Honestly I always enjoy our walks. We talk about old memories, things going on in the world, the future and really just anything that crosses our mind. Today about halfway through our walk my Mama told me I remember a few years ago when we would walk you could barely keep up with me. She said she always felt bad because I would usually fall behind. Honestly I remember those days, I remember trying to keep up with her felt like I was running. I remember telling her to go on, that I would catch up. It just feels so crazy that today my Mama was telling me to slow down, of course I would never leave her behind.

I enjoyed sharing that moment with my Mama. I know she has always worried about me and my weight and seeing her worries eased a little more each day means a lot to me. Most people don't know this but there was a long period of my childhood in which my Mama and I were separated (long story) but I feel that she is getting to see me grow up now, just in a different way. 

Us after our walk, she insists on standing on the curb so she doesn't look so short lol 

Monday, December 23, 2013

I Just Want To Eat

Tonight I just want to eat. Eat everything. Eat all my frustrations in the world away. Somedays I forget that I am an emotional eater, some days I don't think about it and some days it hits me like a ton of bricks. Some days I forget why I started this blog. At first it wasn't about sharing my story. I just wanted a place to escape, a place to let things out. 

Tonight I just want to eat but I won't. I refuse to, not tonight. I will fight it, I will clean or do something else instead. I may lose the fight some days but I won't tonight, I won't let myself, I need to win tonight. 

I just wanted to let it out. 

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Motivation... How To Keep It

I get emails everyday... Everyone wants to know how I stay motivated so let me share a few things that help me! Keep in mind it has taken me years to get to these realizations and that even though you might not be ready to adopt some of them today that doesn't mean you wont be in the future. 

Number 1: No matter how much weight you have to lose stop focusing on the overall number! When I weighed 480 lbs thinking about how much weight I needed to lose was a very daunting and stressful task! Focus on small goals! For example if you are trying to lose 100 lbs trying breaking it into small milestones like 25 lbs at a time. This mental technique has been HUGE in helping me avoiding the mental walls that make us want to give up.

Number 2: WRITE DOWN YOUR GOALS and read them OFTEN! This is SO important! I want you all to write down 5-10 goals that you can work on and when you check one off your list as completed replace it with another! I recommend choosing some goals that do not involve a number on a scale. For example maybe you want to run a mile non stop? Maybe you want to be able to do a certain yoga pose? It can be anything you want!! Write these goals down and put them in a place you can see them often! Seeing them everyday will help you stay motivated!

Number 3: Some might not like this one but it really helps me. Buy a few articles of clothing that do NOT fit! I have a section of clothes in my closet that I call my "inspiration clothes". Basically when I see a shirt or something that I REALLY like and it doesn't fit I buy it anyways and hang it in my closet. There will be period in your journey where the scale does not budge but your body will  still be changing! This is when these clothes are going to help keep you motivated because maybe when you bought the t-shirt it didn't fit but there will be a day when it does and let me tell you that feeling far surpasses any feeling I have felt from seeing a number on the scale.

Number 4: This is hard one and it wont come overnight. Stop beating yourself up and start loving yourself! I want you to love your past self, present self, and future self. Let me tell you it absolutely breaks my heart when I see people picking on their old or current overweight self, calling themselves "Gross" "Nasty" "Fatty".... WHY? There are all of these weight loss "formulas" out there that state weight loss is this "percentage nutrition and this percentage workouts" but all that aside let me tell you it is 100% mental. The self abuse and hate has got to stop! I know that easier said then done. Whether you are just starting your journey or well on your way please realize that your beginning does not have to be your ending. That your self worth is not defined by any number on the scale. You are a person and you deserve to be happy and loved. If you can work on this one I promise things will come easier down the road.

Number 5: Enjoy the journey because this is where you are going to learn the most about yourself. You will need these lessons learned to help you for the rest of your life in all aspects of your life. This is your time..... LIVE IT