Sweating Until Happy

Weekly Check In - 1/29/2012 ... Big Loss This Week!

2012-01-29T21:11:00.000-05:00

Have you met the prowler?

2012-01-25T22:03:00.001-05:00

Wordless Wednesday: Stop Giving Up

2012-01-25T10:06:00.000-05:00

Weekly Check In - 1/22/2012

2012-01-22T22:51:00.002-05:00

Weekly Check In!

2012-01-16T22:24:00.003-05:00

Protein Frappuccino

2012-01-15T20:30:00.003-05:00

Wordless Wednesday ...

2012-01-11T10:00:00.000-05:00

Checking In - 1/8/2012

2012-01-08T20:46:00.002-05:00

Closing Arguments for 2011..

2012-01-02T20:10:00.000-05:00

Checking In - 12/18/2011

2011-12-18T20:00:00.000-05:00

Wordless Wednesday... For the ladies who lift!

2011-12-14T21:40:00.000-05:00

LOVE THIS!

Weekly Check In!

2011-12-05T01:20:00.001-05:00

Dreams can come true..

2011-12-01T18:46:00.001-05:00

I had a dream the other night that has been on my mind all week. All I remember is that I was sitting in a window seat on a airplane and I instantly got that sick to my stomach feeling as I saw that people were starting to board the airplane, I was worried about somebody sitting next to me. Next I looked down to see how much space I was occupying in the seat next to me and to my surprise I could see the space in between the two seats, I was shocked. Then somebody came and sat next to me and I just sat there for a minute waiting for them to complain about sitting next to the fat guy. Oddly they didn't complain at all, they looked over at me and flashed a smile. Inside my head I didn't believe this was happening, was it possible that I lost the weight and I could fly without worries?! Then it hit me.... the seat belt..... I hadn't tried to buckle it yet! I quickly grabbed the belt and slowly brought the two ends together across my lap..... CLICK! I looked down in shock, I just fastened my seat belt without a belt extender!

Then I woke up...

You see at my size flying is an extremely nerve racking experience. Most people who fly generally only need to worry about packing their back and getting to the airport on time. I however have to worry about those things in addition to the things my self consciousness has me worrying about:

Where exactly is my seat on the plane?
Will the plane be full ?
Will it be possible to have a empty seat next to me?
What type of connector is on the seat beat? (They are generally two types and I own one of each, its so embarrassing to ask the flight attendant for en extender so I bring my own)
Will I be able to board the plane in the earlier groups?
What if the plane is filled to capacity?
Will someone complain about sitting next to me?

Then to add to it there is the anxiety I feel as soon as I walk into the airport. I feel like everyone is looking at me and praying that they don't have to sit next to me. Sitting at the gate waiting for a flight is one of the worse feelings I have ever felt in my life.

I haven't been on a airplane in over two years. The fact that I refuse to fly affects a range of aspects in my life. I cant visit family unless they are within driving distance. It's affects my job and the possibility of getting a promotion that would require more travel. It also definitely kills my chances at future job opportunities in other parts of the country or world, how do you tell a potential employer who wants to meet you that you don't fly?!

I have no doubt that the dream I had the other night will come true one day. I am very much looking forward to it, there is a whole world out there and I want to see it!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-23T14:00:00.000-05:00

Weekly Check In - 11/20/2011

2011-11-20T23:43:00.001-05:00

Checking in for the week!

Usually I do a vlog but I didn't get a chance to this week. I had a really off week this past week. Didn't feel good the first half of it, felt sluggish which slowed me down during workouts, and also did horrible with my water intake. On top of that it was a VERY stressful week at work which isn't an excuse but it's just the truth.

I weighed in this morning and I was up 4 lbs. I was a little irked but I had a feeling I would gain some this week. After speaking with Amer he told me not to really worry about it, he said its very unlikely that I would gain 4 lbs of fat in one week and I definitely agree with him on that. I am positive that the combination of my stressful work week, poor water intake (yes you can gain weight from not drinking enough water), a few skipped meals, and my lack of sleep all contributed to my gain this week and I am not going to let it get to me. Each day is a new day with new opportunities for improvement.

This weeks goals are to get back on track with my water and get to sleep on time!

What are your goals for the week?

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-16T14:00:00.000-05:00

Thank you for always being there for me...

2011-11-13T22:00:00.001-05:00

This post is to all the people in the fitfluential, fitblog, fitbloggin, and many more.

Today was my birthday, we wont go into how old I am :) But I did want to say that I am so touched by all the birthday wishes I have received from everyone on twitter and facebook. I wanted to write a post to thank all the people who I have met through facebook and twitter, many of you have made a huge difference in my life.

I have never really been a big birthday person, mostly because for most of my life a birthday was just a reminder of another year of failure in the weight loss department. Things are a little different know. I'll be honest and say I am not anywhere near where I want to be yet but I haven't given up for the last two years, and I wont ever give up. I made the commitment in May 2009 that I was going to finally lose the weight, the road since then has been bumpy but my engine is still full of gas and to me that is a huge win. In the years before 2009 I always gave up after a few weeks of trying and I always hated myself for it.

The difference in my life now is even though I may have a bad day, week, or month I always pick myself up and keep moving forward. It's hard for me to admit that I need people, it's hard for me to reach out and say I need your help. For most of my life I haven't had anybody to lean on, I have always had to figure things out on my own and just hope for the best. I can proudly say that I have survived almost all the situations that life has thrown at me. The one thing I haven't been able to do on my own is lose the weight. Like I said before it's not easy for me to say I need people but honestly I need all of you. My life has been drastically changed in a positive way by you. I try to always have a game face on but I struggle just like anyone else. Some days I want to quit, just give up, skip workouts, binge eat, etc. On the bad days I often think of many of you. I see your faces in my head, I hear your voices in my ear, and I think about your battles and all that you all have been through and that's when the switch goes off in my head. I tell myself Alan you can do this, Alan you are not alone, Alan you WILL do this. I no longer ask myself if I can do this, I know I can and I am.

I have lost most of my old friends since I started this journey. Unfortunately I was forced to choose between their friendship or a healthy lifestyle, and its obvious what I have chosen. You all have become my friends and my family in a way. I rely on you more than you know. I just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for always being there for me, I hope you know that I am always here for you.

Alan

2011-11-13T21:59:00.001-05:00

Checking In - 11/13/2011

2011-11-13T11:50:00.001-05:00

I dont want to start tomorrow...

2011-11-10T20:00:00.000-05:00

My choice to fight obesity and take back my health has been a rocky road, as it is for most people. I love the fight, I love the results, I love how I feel, and I love when I am in control. In my case my battle has somewhat caused me to cut off a lot of people in my life. I mean I have friends and family but I don't see them that often, my healthy lifestyle doesn't seem to sync with theirs. I never realized how much food is such a center of attention on a lot of social scenes until I started trying to lose weight. It's always "hey lets go out to dinner" or "lets grab lunch", etc. I often decline these offers because for me.. right now... I need to stay away from those environments. I hate that I have to make that choice but its not an option, and its not easy. At the same time it's not easy living life at 400 plus pounds, its not easy to look at myself in the mirror, and it's not easy to face the world in this body.

I don't lie or make up excuses about why I don't want to go out, I just tell people the truth...that's the bottom line. A lot of times the response I get is "well you can start your diet tomorrow", actually no I cant. I don't want to start tomorrow, next week, or next year. I spent most of my adult life telling myself I'll start tomorrow, eventually tomorrow becomes never. I proudly choose to start today.

I am thankful for the people who understand my decisions, I don't mean to be rude or anti social, I just want to reach my goals and I wont let anybody get in my way. Thankfully my immediate family understands my situation, they know when I say no it's because I want to live. You choose to spend your nights as you wish... if you need me you can find me in the gym.

Wordless Wednesday - What you don't see!

2011-11-09T19:30:00.000-05:00

Checking In - 11/6/2011

2011-11-06T00:07:00.000-04:00

Checking In - 10/29/2011

2011-10-29T12:19:00.002-04:00

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-26T12:30:00.002-04:00

Wordless Wednesday - Choose Your Hard.

2011-10-19T14:29:00.000-04:00

Split Second Decisions!

2011-10-18T20:55:00.002-04:00

Its been awhile but I am back!

2011-10-15T22:51:00.000-04:00

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-12T22:07:00.000-04:00

5 Reasons to Fight...

2011-09-29T23:09:00.001-04:00

The number reason I fight everyday is for myself! I am also very proud and happy to say I have another 5 great reasons to fight and those are my nieces and nephews. I adore them all and I treasure every second I get to spend with them. They bring me so much joy and I want to be around for them for as long as I can. I want to watch the grow, learn, and love life. They constantly remind me of why I cant give up, why I can let up, and why I cant walk away...

I Didn't Hear No Bell...

2011-09-13T22:43:00.000-04:00

I feel like I have written this exact blog post a million times. About two months ago I hurt my back and I was basically out of the gym for a solid four weeks resting my back. Did I enjoy sitting out for that period of time? No, but I really had no choice. During that time I did my best to concentrate on my food and nutrition since that was really all I could do, and lets be honest it was a daily battle.

Fast forward to one month ago my back is all healed up and I am ready to get back in the gym! I start back with my workouts but I felt drained, no motivation and overall just fed up. My confidence was way down, I started to feel extremely self conscious in the gym again and I started skipping workouts. When I start to slack in the gym I usually start to slack on my nutrition and from there it just snow balls. The worse thing for me is down time. Once I am out of my routine for an extended period of time its always a bloody battle for me to get back into it.

Another thing I lose during down time is my confidence! When I am in the gym I need that confidence, I need to be able to walk around the gym like I own the place, I need to be able to look all the fit people in the eye and say YES I am using that and NO I am not done. Of course nobody likes a cocky A-Hole in the gym but internally I need that edge because if I have that 1 ounce of uncertainty in myself then I wont give it my all.

For me.... right now..... at this time....... my food choices and workouts go hand in hand. When one is missing the other suffers. I cant explain why but I just know thats how my mind and body operate at the moment.

Like I said before I feel like I have written this exact blog post a million times, maybe it takes a million and one times, or maybe a million and two or three? I don't know the answer but I know I will keep writing it for as long as I need to.

Picking myself up...... You are not starting over Alan you are just getting back in the boxing ring..... you didn't hear a bell did you? Didn't think so!

Beach Fishing Trip!

2011-09-05T19:33:00.000-04:00

What my niece reminded me of....

2011-08-29T21:05:00.002-04:00

Friday Night Workout - Chest, Back, Biceps

2011-08-28T12:29:00.000-04:00

Checking In - 8/21/2011

2011-08-21T15:27:00.000-04:00

Friday Night Workout - Legs & Shoulders

2011-08-21T15:07:00.002-04:00

Checking In - 8/14/2011

2011-08-14T15:27:00.002-04:00

Do you dread stairs?

2011-08-04T12:00:00.001-04:00

What do most people think of when they see stairs? Most probably don't think twice but being overweight changes all that.

Three years ago I dreaded stairs! My knees just couldn't take them, they would crack, they hurt and going up a small flight of stairs felt like I was running a marathon. At the time this was a huge problem considering I was working as a onsite Construction Project Engineer and I was constantly out in the field going up stairs and climbing ladders. Most of the time I had to do stairs one at a time because of my knees.

I remember one day my Project Manager told me I needed to set up a punchlist walk with the Owner's Representative for one of the buildings we were building. Now mind you this wasn't a normal building, it was a massive 30 story warehouse type building that housed extensive mechanical systems that are supposed to help the power plant reduce emissions from burning coal. The walk through included checking every door in the building to make sure they worked properly and that they weren't damaged. My stomach was in knots because there was doors all over this building, it wasn't like you just go straight up a flight of stairs and check each one. The stairs winded throughout the building with all kinds of cat walks and platforms. I swear I thought I was going to die that day! I lugged all 480 lbs of me up, down, and across that building for almost 3.5 hours in the middle of the summer. I felt so embarrassed inside because I knew the people who were with me that day knew I was struggling. What was I supposed to say to by boss thought? No I cant because I am too big?

I look back on that day and find myself thankful that I went through it, its helps me appreciate today a lot more. Reason being that even though I am still in the low 400 lb range I can RUN upstairs now with no pain at all, I might be breathing heavy when I get to the top but I still can do it.

And actually you know what I would love to do one day that involves stairs? I want to take the stairs to the top of this beautiful building in Chicago. Who can arrange that? :-)

Willis Tower aka Sears Tower

What challenges have you over come lately? What challenges are you working on overcoming?

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-03T10:00:00.001-04:00

Checking In - RD Appointment

2011-08-02T22:04:00.000-04:00

Small Changes..

2011-08-01T19:30:00.005-04:00

Today I wanted to talk about something I am proud of, its nothing huge but to me it means a lot.

A few weeks ago I was eating lunch in the break room at work and I looked up and noticed the vending machine in my face. I thought to myself I have been working here for almost a year and I have never even thought about this machine, I mean I had seen it but it just never caught my full attention.

I then thought about how a couple of years ago this wouldn't have been the case, a couple of years ago this machine would have haunted me. I would of had to have something out of it, something to make me feel good inside. I remember whenever I would stay at a hotel I would load up before I headed up to my room for the night. You know of course I needed some chips to munch on while I watched TV, then of course I need something sweet for after dinner, and I couldn't forget that late night snack. I mean I was in a hotel so if I got hungry late at night I would surely have to have something to eat!!!

I feel like I have changed so much in the last two years. Am I were I want to be yet? No. But I am well on my way. The vending machines don't haunt me anymore.

And actually the other day I found myself in front of it looking to purchase something. It was 10 am which is when I have my morning snack, I looked in my cooler to pull out my hummus and rice cakes when I realized I had left all my snacks at home on the counter! (hate when that happens). I did however remember the hummus but I had nothing to eat it with so I thought HMMMM let me check out the vending machine. So after haggling a co worker for some loose change I made my way to the break room to see what my choices were. So I scrolled through carefully weighing my options, I ended up going with the pretzels which I could use to dip in my hummus.

Bottom line it's the small things that make the big differences in this fight!

What are you proud of lately? I want to know..

Checking In - 8/1/2011

2011-08-01T00:48:00.002-04:00

HolaBirdSports $50 Gift Card Giveaway Winner is......

2011-07-31T23:32:00.000-04:00

And the winner is.................... Tiffany Nico from Simply Shaka!

Tiffany please email me at sweating_it_off@hotmail.com to claim your prize!!

Holabird Sports $50 Gift Card Giveaway!!

2011-07-24T22:00:00.000-04:00

Welcome to my blog's first giveaway! The awesome people over at Holabird Sports have agreed to give away a $50 gift card on my blog.

Holabird Sports was founded in 1981 and has evolved from a tennis pro shop into a racquet sports and running specialty store. They are based in Baltimore, MD and for 29 years they have been providing people with the Holabird advantage: Selection, Price, Service and Reliability.

I personally have experienced the Holabird advantage! There have been a few times where I couldn't find a product in my size, for example last year I was looking for some Under Armour compression shirts in a 3X but could only find 2X. I tweeted @HolaBirdSports and they told me they would speak to their Under Armour Rep to see what they could do. A few days later they contacted me and asked what colors and styles I wanted and about a week later they were on my front door step. NOW THAT IS CUSTOMER SERVICE! Also for all those hesitant about buying shoes online? Holabird Sports never charges a restocking fee for returns! So check out their website http://www.holabirdsports.com and see the details below on how to enter for a $50 gift card!

To enter to win a $50 gift card:

Leave a comment on this blog post about one piece of running/workout gear that you couldn't live with out. (this is the only required thing you need to do to enter the giveaway)

For additional entries you can do ANY or ALL of the following items, just make sure to comeback and leave a separate comment for each item.

Follow @HolaBirdSports on Twitter
Like Holabird Sports on Facebook
Write a small post on your own blog with a link to this post about what you would buy with the Holabird Sports $50 gift card then post a link to your post in the comment section of this blog post.

That a total of (4) possible entries! The giveaway ends on Sunday July 31st at 6 pm eastern time. Open to US residents only. Winner will be randomly selected using random.org and notified via email. Winner must respond within 24 hours or another winner will be selected.

Get moving people!

Down but not out!

2011-07-24T15:40:00.002-04:00

Checking In and Giving Something up!

2011-07-17T15:29:00.000-04:00

You are not the only one.....

2011-07-13T22:17:00.000-04:00

About two weeks ago I was in the gym on a Saturday night, there wasn't an extreme amount of people in there but there was a nice little group in the weight room. I usually don't talk to anyone while I workout, actually you will rarely even find me making eye contact or even noticing what anyone else is doing. I prefer to get in, do my thing, and get out.

On this night though I did notice someone, he was probably in his mid twenties, not too tall but built well for his size. I noticed him while I was doing some wood choppers on the cable machine. The reason I noticed him was because he was doing one handed pull ups on the squat rack. I thought to myself DAMN one handed pull ups! I looked at him with envy for a bit then moved on to my next exercise and didn't give it much thought.

Awhile later I noticed the same guy, this time it was for a different reason....... I noticed him because he only had one hand. I didn't know what to think at first, I started to watch him as he worked out and he was doing everything that anyone else in that gym could do and even more.

Have you ever thought that you were the only one in the world who was struggling? The only one who had to adapt? Have you ever asked yourself why me? Told yourself it isn't fair?

The fact of the matter is I CHOSE all the decisions that got me to my current state of health. I wasn't dealt a bad hand, I just decided to go all in when all I had was nothing but a bluff going on. That guy in the gym most likely didn't have a choice about his situation but he persevered, he came out on top. Why? Because he wanted to, because he chose to. I know for a fact that things that happen to me in my childhood have contributed to my current state but I also know I am way past the point of assigning blame to anyone. I am at a point where I control my destiny.

You are not the only who is in this battle but you are the only one who can choose what happens next....

My Eggplant Dish!

2011-07-11T22:06:00.000-04:00

My mom makes this amazing eggplant dish and I decided I would try to make it on my own tonight, I don't have a recipe but I have a general idea of what is in it.

You need the following:

20 oz Ground Beef or Turkey (I used turkey)
2 Canned Diced Tomatoes
1 Large Eggplant

1 Red Bell Pepper

Spices (you can pick your favorites)

1 package Quinoa
Chicken Broth
11 x 7 baking dish

So first thing you want to do is pick a nice sized eggplant.

You need to slice the eggplant into even slices, not too thin and not too thick. I also personally like to leave some of the skin on the eggplant. After you slice it then you want to lay them out on a baking sheet with the sliced red bell pepper. Salt and spice as you see fit. Bake the eggplant in a preheated oven at 375 degrees for 30-40 min.

I used Mrs. Dash

While the eggplant is baking go ahead and get your ground turkey ready to cook. Get a skillet with some olive oil hot and ready. Add some garlic and then add your meat.

20 oz ground turkey meat at 7% fat

MMMMM Garlic

While your meat is cooking go ahead and start on the quinoa.

Trader Joe Quinoa

I personally use a rice cooker to make my quinoa, its quick, easy and always comes out perfect. I make a box at a time and store it in the fridge to eat during the week. First you want to make sure you wash and drain the quinoa. Then I put it in the rice cooker pan with a ratio of 1 to 1 of uncooked quinoa to chicken broth. I prefer to use broth because it gives it a bit of flavor.

Love this Rice Cooker!

By this time the eggplant should be near done.

Now you'll need to get your diced tomatoes, I love the flavor of 365 italian style diced tomatoes that Whole Foods carries!

Next you will need to get a glass dish and put a little of the diced tomatoes on the bottom, then add a layer of eggplant, then the layer of turkey meat, and finish it off with another layer of eggplant and the rest of the diced tomatoes.

Next you cover it in foil and put it back in the oven on the bottom shelf for 20-30 minutes at 375 degrees.

The finished product!

Plate your quinoa and add the eggplant on top for a delicious meal!

I loved this dish so much, my version isn't anywhere near as good as my Moms! As far as the nutritional information I calculated the following:

20 oz of ground turkey at 7% fat - 832 calories
1 large eggplant - 132 calories
2 cans of diced tomatoes - 350 calories
1 red bell pepper - 30 calories
1 tbsp olive oil - 120 calories

Grand Total: 1464 Calories
Divided into 6 servings at 244 calories per serving not including the quinoa.

Hope you guys try this dish, if you do let me know what you think! Make it your own!

Weekly Check In...

2011-07-10T22:30:00.002-04:00

Weekly Check In...

2011-07-05T22:01:00.000-04:00

My protective shield....

2011-06-30T20:36:00.000-04:00

If you asked most people what they see in the picture above they would say a worn out sweatshirt. If you asked me I would say its my protective shield.

That sweatshirt has been with me since I decided to lose the weight in May 2009. If I was in the gym you can bet I was wearing it. It started out with long sleeves and a hood, and when I first bought it , it was also kind of tight fitting but I wore it anyway. I remember the first day I walked into the gym I wore it and worked out with my hood up over my head, I didn't want to make eye contact with anyone in the gym. I hid my face inside it for months, I hid my body, I hid the desperation in my eyes.

As I started losing weight I stopped wearing the hood over my head and eventually I cut it off, I didn't want to hide my face anymore. As I started to incorporate weight lifting into my routine I decided to cut the sleeves off, I wanted to see my muscles as I worked them.

I have had that sweatshirt for over two years now and like I said before I have worn it for 99% of my workouts (yes I am always washing it). It used to be a lot tighter than it is now but I still haven't been able to part with it, I still wear it for all my workouts in the gym. Part of me wants to retire it but another part of me stills need it to protect me and I am ok with that for right now. I know when the time is right I will let it go....

Do you have any protective shields??

This Weeks Weigh In!

2011-06-27T10:00:00.000-04:00

Its not the hardest thing and not the easiest..

2011-06-21T14:00:00.000-04:00

I often tell people weight loss is the not the hardest thing I have ever done but at the same time its not the easiest. We all know the steps we need to take to lose the weight right?

We gotta eat right, work out, create calorie deficits, drink enough water, get enough sleep and so on.

Thats the easy part! Execution is where it gets hard. If you had nothing to do all day, didn't need to work, had no worries then yeah you could do all the things I stated above and you would lose the weight. Most of us don't have that luxury, life gets in the way. But that doesn't mean it cant be done.

I'll give you an example: In May of 2009 I was laid off from what I thought what my dream job. The economy was in state of panic and I worked in an industry that was one of the hardest hit. I knew for a fact I would not find a job for a extended period of time. That's also when I decided to lose the weight and I started do everything that I needed to do. I signed up for a gym, starting working out, hired a RD to help me with my food, got enough sleep. I practically lived to work out and it showed, I dropped 80 lbs like it was nothing.

Eventually I found a job and after being free to spend my days as I pleased for a year and a half I found myself back to a state of reality. Back to a 50 hour work week, deadlines, projects, meetings, blah blah blah (Don't get me wrong, I love what I do). I found myself trying to find that balance between my professional job and my weight loss job, yes you read that correctly I do consider weight loss a second job. Its taken me a long time to find balance and I feel that I am getting closer to it but its VERY hard work.

This is what my typical schedule looks like at the moment:

5:15 am: Wake up, pack gym bag, get dressed, make protein shake.
6:00 am: Arrive at gym, workouts usually last an hour.
7:15 am: Shower at gym, get dressed, etc.
8:00 am: Get to Work
6:00 pm: Leave Work
6:20 pm: Get Home
7:00 pm: Start prep for the next day. Make breakfast, Lunch, 2 Snacks for the next day the night before.
7:30 pm: Cook Dinner and Eat
8:00 pm: Clean all the dishes
9:30 pm: I try to be in bed, this usually ends up being 10 pm.

This is what I do Monday through Friday and its hard, to me at least. I mean there is a lot of little things I must do to make sure I have all my food with me at work the next day. If I don't get to bed on time I can forget about waking up for my workouts. I really have to disciplined about all of this and I dont have alot of room for error. On a side note I truly now appreciate what parents go through, especially ones who work. I couldn't even imagine doing what I have to do everyday with a couple of kids thrown into the mix.

I'll be honest with you since I started working again in August of 2010 I haven't lost a lot of weight, truthfully I have lingered around the 400 - 420 mark since then. Its taken me awhile to find balance, way longer than I expected but life is such.

This all leads me back to what I said in the beginning, weight loss isn't the hardest thing I have done in my life and at the same time it isn't the easiest. It takes a lot of discipline, planning, and preparation.

Everyone should know that they can do it. Everyone should also know that not everyone will do it. You have to want it. Not your for your wife, not for your child, not for your parents..... for YOU. I want you to think about that. Do you really want it ? Or do you think you want it?

Father's Day 2011

2011-06-19T20:00:00.007-04:00

Susan G. Komen 5k ..... A year later!

2011-06-15T21:33:00.001-04:00

Last Saturday I had the honor of participating in the Susan G. Komen 5k with a group of wonderful people. Sue and I were still coming off our Fitbloggin 2011 buzz when we started talking about doing a fitness event together since we live close to each other. Ultimately we decided to walk the race for the cure. Once we started tweeting about this Jenn, Casey, and Bryan all decided to join the team!

My Team!

This was my third 5k walk, my first 5k was actually the Komen 5k that I did last year. I remember being so nervous about the race last year. I was feeling really self conscious and was worried about what people would think. This year was a different experience for me. I will admit I felt a little anxious when I walked up to event to look for my team, but once I found Sue I knew everything was going to be ok. Eventually our team all found each other and we made our way towards the start line.

It was so hot that morning that before the race even started I was sweating like crazy!

Approaching the start line!

The race streamed live on the local news channel and I found the clip right as we passed the start line!

Last year during this race I had one thing on my mind, and that was finishing the race in 1 hour. This year I wasn't concerned with time at all. It was more about meeting a group of friends and us all participating in a fitness activity together. So thats what we did, we walked, talked, laughed, and we had a great time.

This lady walked the race in high heels!

Rounding the corner at the 1 mile marker which happens to be in front of my old college stomping grounds! Go PACK!

We all stayed together and made sure nobody was left behind. I told all my team members that I was a slow walker and the whole race they accused me of lying about that! Maybe I am becoming a fast walker?? I do know one thing, last year this walk was hard for me. Last year at about mile marker two I thought I was going to die, my feet were killing me, my legs felt heavy. This year I felt totally different, I didn't feel tired, my feet didn't hurt and my legs felt strong! I remember telling Sue that it was easy this year. Of course she blamed it on the great company that I had, and she was right to an extent :-)

There were more than 25,000 people at the event!

I can deal with that ;-)

Down the home stretch!

Overall it was a great morning! I spent it with amazing people and I am glad I decided to participate. Like I said before I did this race last year and since then I haven't really lost a significant amount of weight but I feel different. I am stronger mentally and physically, that is a fact. In the last year I stopped really caring about what other people think, whether I am in the gym or walking a 5k I am out there for myself and nobody else. Every time I do an event like this I gain a little more confidence and I get a little more closer to reaching my weight loss goals. This weight loss path has been tough but I have a positive outlook on it. I feel like in the past I would worry about "IF" I could do it and now I feel like I know I can do it, it just going to take time.

Check out the video clips I took from the race below:

This weeks weigh in!

2011-06-12T11:08:00.000-04:00

The Night Before the Komen 5k!

2011-06-10T23:03:00.000-04:00

Here is a link to my Susan G. Komen blog post from last year!

http://www.sweatinguntilhappy.com/2010/06/my-first-5k-event.html

This weeks weigh In!

2011-06-05T13:35:00.005-04:00

Video Blog - Non Scale Victory - Class Ring!

2011-06-01T22:29:00.001-04:00

Todays weigh in results!

2011-05-29T17:06:00.003-04:00

So I have decided to make Sunday morning my official weight in day. I weighed in last Sunday at a whopping 430 lbs, yes you read that right, I bounced back up to 430 lbs. Why? Its simple.. poor food choices. I worked out consistently but I was constantly making poor food choices and the truth of the matter is you can workout all you want but if you don't make good food decisions it will all be in vain. You can hire all the dietitians and personal trainers you want, they can only give you the tools and its up to you to use them.

This past week I finally decided to use the tools that the people supporting me have given me, and guess what? It felt great and I had a great loss on the scale this morning. Weight loss isn't easy, its something you have to do one choice at a time, one meal at a time, and one workout at a time.

I weighed in at :

A 13.5 lb LOSS (Not typical for every week)

Progress pictures from this morning also:

Working on the Gun Show!

Fitbloggin 2011.... Overall Recap!

2011-05-29T00:20:00.001-04:00

Fitbloggin has been over for almost a week now and I am still trying to wrap my head around how AMAZING it was and still searching for the words to describe it and how it has forever changed me. For those of you who don't know Fitbloggin is a conference for bloggers interested in fitness, wellness, good food and a healthy lifestyle.

I arrived at the hotel in Baltimore around 5 pm, I parked and got my suitcase out of my truck and stood there for a few minutes. I was scared to walk inside and I was seriously considering driving back to North Carolina. Inside I knew I had to walk in, I knew I would always regret it if I didn't. So I walked in!! I was sweating like crazy and anxiously anticipating who I would run into first. I made it all the way to the hotel check in line and didn't really see anyone I recognized. Then I saw Susan (No words to describe Susan's awesomeness) making her way towards me and she gave me a huge hug! I felt so much better after that, still extremely nervous but I was ok. I got all my stuff into my room and headed down to the welcome mixer. This is where I really started to get anxious! I checked in at the registration table and headed to the room where everyone was hanging out. I walked in and I felt so uncomfortable, I was looking around to see if I knew anyone but I couldn't actually see anyone, I wasn't looking at people directly but looking in between them in an effort to avoid eye contact, its hard to explain. Then I heard someone say Alan, I looked over and it was Tara and Sharla I felt so relieved inside to see some familiar faces. I instantly walked to them and gave them both hugs (I seriously love both these ladies!). Then slowly and surely I felt more comfortable and I started meeting people who I know from twitter and at the same time meeting people I had never even heard of. I met my roommates Jess and Sean (Both are amazing). By the end of the night I started to realize that Fitbloggin was going to be something good, something that would make a direct positive impact in my life.

The morning part of Day 1 was filled with activities like a 5k/1mile mile, Kettlebell Demos, Zumba class (a personal favorite), resistance training demo, and other fitness type activities. I participated in the 1 mile walk in the morning and then attended the kettlebell demo. Afterwards I did Zumba! Now the Zumba class was a milestone for me. I have taken the class plenty of times in my gym but they always teach them with the lights off, this Zumba class was with the lights on and I wasn't in the back row as I usually am. I felt kinda nervous as we were waiting to start but as the music came on and the booty shaking started I found myself feeling very comfortable and I had a great time! By the time we were done I was ready for lunch and nice shower. The afternoon part of Day 1 was filled with panel discussions about branding and blogging. Day 2 was filled with panel discussions about blogging, eating, branding, video blogging, analytics, and much more. So much great information was shared and I walked away looking at my blog in a whole new light.

Overall the conference was an amazing experience! I met so many amazing people and the positive energy was out of this world. Everyone was so warm, welcoming, and so supportive. There were so many stories and experiences shared. So many friendships and memories made that will last a lifetime. I cannot not wait for Fitbloggin 2012! I will definitely be there, hopefully a little less of me than this year ;-)

Check out some pics below:

Fortune Cookie I got the night before I left for Fitbloggin!

View of Baltimore from my hotel room

Jump lump crab cakes .. mmmmmm

Crabs!

Josie and me! Love her!

Emily and me! She will be a friend for life!

Jess and me! We are in it to win it!!

LOL Popchips future spokesperson!

A Wall Came Down!

2011-05-03T22:44:00.001-04:00

Breaking down physical walls is easy, you can bulldoze it, jack hammer it, or even blow it up! Mental walls aren't that easy. Have you ever seen yourself doing something in your head? You visualize it, you know exactly how its supposed to look but when you attempt to do it something holds you back.

This is how my relationship with squats has been since my early twenties. I remember doing squats galore when I was in high school as part of my football training but over time my weight became to much and my knees starting troubling me. Bending down was painful and I eventually just stopped putting my body in positions which put pressure on my knees. I mean honestly 2 years ago I could barely walk up a flight of stairs, I would have to do it one step at a time to minimize the pain. About a year ago I started to run up stairs with ease but I still couldn't do the squats. I would visualize myself doing them, then I would get under the bar, stand up and get my stance right, then I would start to go down and I would always stop bending my knees about half way down and start bending my back because I thought my knees would buckle underneath me, I was scared to push myself.

Just 3 weeks ago I tried doing squats again and I even videotaped myself. As you can see from the video below I am doing most of the bending in my back and not in my legs!! I just couldn't bend my knees, my brain wouldn't tell my body to do it.

Since I couldn't do real squats I tried doing bench squats like in the video below. I could do these but I knew they didn't equal a real squat. Even while doing the bench squats I was always still hesitant because of my knees. My movements weren't controlled, I was literally sitting/falling down into the bench because I was scared to put pressure on my knees.

I always could see myself doing squats in my head but I could never execute. It was very frustrating, the image of me doing them was crystal clear in my head but my body wouldn't listen. The new weight lifting routine I started 3 weeks ago called for squats and I just couldn't do them. BUT a few things have changed in the last few weeks.

A friend of mine who is helping with my lifting routines told me 3 weeks ago, "the only way to build those knees up is to move them". That has been in my head for the last 3 weeks and it made perfect sense but I still held back some. Then yesterday I had a very supportive friend who gave me some inspiration just before I headed to the gym to workout. I got to the gym and I felt really good, I felt confident. I did my warm up on the treadmill and headed to the weight room. I stood in front of the squat rack and was getting ready to set up the bench so I could do my bench squats ( my way of cheating) when I just started to visualize myself in my head doing a real squat. I had done this many times before but this time was different, I was ready. I basically told myself screw it! Your going for it! If your knees give out then they give out! So I went for it!!! and.................... watch the video below :)

I did it! It was F*#%ing amazing! I went down as far as I physically could, my knees didn't give out and they actually felt very strong! It was like they had been waiting for me to test them a little bit. Looking at the video I can see some areas I need to work on form wise but its a start! The mental wall came tumbling down, I swear I almost let out a scream of joy as I did that first rep! I did 5 sets of 5 reps and afterwards I felt great, my knees literally felt great. I cant explain the feeling, I just cant. Its like my knees have changed after that first rep, maybe they did, maybe its all in my head, I don't know. I do know that whatever was holding me back is gone. I do know that my ass will be in the gym tomorrow doing some more squats! A lot of people hate doing squats, I hated not being able to do them...

Thank you Janessa, Antonio, and Dana, you have all made a difference in me getting through this wall.

Zoo trip and so much more...

2011-04-25T22:07:00.000-04:00

So around 8 am Saturday morning my sister called me and randomly asked if I wanted to go to the zoo with her, my brother in law, and nephew. I said YES, I love the zoo. So I got up and got dressed and off

we were on our hour and half drive to the zoo. So fast forward we got to the zoo and had to wait in line for about 20 minutes to get in, it way a busy day for them. Once we got in we started walked around and looking at the different animals. The weather wasn't too bad, it was kinda hot but nothing crazy.

As I was walking around I began to think about my trip to the zoo last year. I had a horrible time physically, I felt so sluggish, my feet hurt, I dreaded all the hills, and I was literally counting down the minutes until it was time to leave. This time was different, I had a little extra pep in my step. I was actually enjoying the walk around the zoo and I actually ENJOYED the hills! I didn't feel tired at all and my feet didn't hurt or feel swollen. In fact I pushed my nephew in his stroller around most of the day because my sister and brother in law were too tired! Now mind you I am still a 400 lb man but it was very obvious that my fitness level has changed in the last year, in a positive way.

I also noticed as I walked around the people who were half my size, my size, and also bigger than me that were huffing and puffing on the hills and forced to take breaks in between animal exhibits. Now I am in no way judging anyone, I been there and I know what its like, it was just something I observed. Its just felt good to see some positive effects of all the hard work I have put into my health in the last year or so. At the same time it gave me some inspiration to keep pushing myself to the next level. It was one of those non scale victories!

I also witnessed something else at the zoo that day that was truly amazing. It has nothing to do with me or my quest for health. While we were waiting to get into the zoo there was a Caucasian couple in front of us, probably in their late twenties. They had a stroller with them and I thought nothing of it until the baby started to cry and the woman picked her up to comfort her. The thing that I noticed almost instantly was that the little girl was African American, she was an amazingly beautiful little girl. The only reason I mention race was because it was apparent that the little girl wasn't their natural born and I am assuming she is/was adopted. So I stood their and watched this Mother hold her baby, it was so so so very obvious she loved her more than anything in this world. I could literally feel the connection and the love that this couple had for their child. Witnessing this was the best part of my day. In today's day and age you sometimes question if humanity still exists. Witnessing a beautiful act like I witnessed on that day restores my faith in humanity, which we all need from time to time. In my opinion there is nothing more selfless in this world than opening your home and heart to a child. I have always told myself that I will adopt a child one day, its just something that I need to do and I hope I get that opportunity to change a strangers life.

Anyways that's all I got for today. I'll post a couple silly pictures that I took at the zoo! Enjoy!

My Nephew and Me :)

Me Fighting A Giraffe!!!

I wont give up....

2011-04-20T23:36:00.000-04:00

Its my life and I cry if I want to...

2011-04-14T23:32:00.000-04:00

I'm usually the positive person. I usually take the hits and keep moving forward. I usually am the one who steps up and takes the lead.I usually try to find the good things in a situation and use them to lift the me and the people around me up. I usually don't let anyone or thing get in my way. Tonight I don't want to be that person. Tonight I want to be negative. Tonight I don't want to lead, I want to be lead. Tonight I want to see the bad things. Tonight I want to cry...

Today started out like any normal day. Went to work and had a pretty good day. I left work and decided I wanted to get a haircut and do some shopping. While shopping my Mom called to see how I was. During our conversation she asked me what was wrong with me lately. I told her nothing. "She said no, you have been acting different for months now, you are distant, not vocal, you're just not yourself". The truth is I have been all those things lately and I told her that somethings were bothering me and they involved her. I told her we would speak in person when I saw her. I finished my shopping and left the store and as soon I got in my car tears started rolling down my face. I drove around for an hour and just cried.

Truth is months ago my Mom brought back alot painful memories for me, I know it wasn't on purpose. We were at the gym walking on the treadmills and we started to talk about my Dad and I told her I was stubborn like my Dad and that I really wasn't ashamed of it. *Inside I was happy to share this trait with my Dad only because I loved him so much and my stubbornness constantly reminded me of him* Well as soon as I said that my Mother was like NO, you are not like that, your Father wasn't a good person. *Inside I want to scream at her. Why would she say that to me? She knows my Father meant the world to me and that losing him killed a part of me. Nobody is perfect. My Father wasn't and my Mother certainly wasn't either. I wanted to to tell her that my Father was no worse than anyone in her Family. That if she wanted to say my Father wasn't a good person then she would have to admit that all her brothers , parents, and Husband weren't either. Inside I am thinking when will I stop paying the price for my parents divorce. When will my feelings be taken into consideration. As a child all I wanted was both my parents love, and as a Adult all I want is the ability to remember or talk about my parents without being ripped for it. Shouldn't parents be able to put aside their differences for their kids?!?!* I didn't say anything at all after she said that. I just walked on the treadmill holding back my pain.

From that day things haven't been the same between my Mom and me. Since that day I haven't been the same person. I have found that I am still very mad at both my parents. I am still mad at them for their divorce. I am mad at them for how they handled their divorce. I am mad at them for never putting me first. My whole life they have always chosen what was best for them. I don't feel like I had parents, I feel like I raised myself. I am mad they never stopped me from eating myself into a 400 lb body. I am mad they chose their spouses over my well being. I am mad they couldn't be civil for the sake of their kids. I am mad they always made me choose one of them over the other. I am mad that I was forced to grow up without guidance.I am mad that I had to make every mistake on my own without warning. I am mad that I don't have my Dad anymore and even more I am mad at myself for being mad at him. I am mad that I am too scared to love anyone because I don't want to get hurt or hurt them.

I am tired of being mad inside, I am tired of the pain. I just want a normal life. I am going to tell my Mom how I feel this weekend. I don't want her to feel bad or guilty, thats the last thing I want. I want her to choose me first for once. I just want acknowledgment of my feelings and the pain I feel. I just want her to say I am sorry for not being there for you. I would ask the same of my Dad if he was still here. I want her to say its ok if I talk about my Dad. I just want to let all of these feelings out because I cant keep them inside anymore. I don't want to cry myself to sleep anymore.

Thats all I have to say tonight.

*Also I want everyone to know my Parents aren't bad people, they just made mistakes like everyone does. An old friend once told me a symbolic story about a girl who left her Husband and went to her parents house because she didn't want to live with him anymore. The parents invited the Husband over so everyone could talk about the problems and try to work it out. The girl complained about many petty things but nothing worth leaving her Husband. Her Father walked over to her and asked her to stand up, she stood up and he ripped her shirt off in front of everyone and the girl ran and hide behind her Husband. Her Father asked why she ran and hide behind her Husband and she responded because he is my Husband. So if you comment on this post do not speak badly about my Parents because they are still my Parents and I love them dearly. Also please do not give me any pity, I rarely blog about the negatives in my life because I don't like bringing attention to myself with negative things, I only wrote tonight because I needed a release*

I wanted to post this video because it best describes how I feel tonight. Today was a bad day and tomorrow is a new day. Good Night.

Lost in the Shuffle....But not for long!

2011-04-10T22:53:00.000-04:00

This weight loss thing can be down right confusing at times and crystal clear at others. There are days when I feel like I know exactly what I am doing and other days when I feel like I am lost. I'll be honest I haven't lost any substantial weight in months, I have been hovering between 400 - 410 lbs for what it seems forever. And yeah some of that has to do with my own self sabotage, I can admit that. But I also feel like I have gotten lost in the shuffle. Over the weekend I read something that sort of struck a light bulb with me, an epiphany if you will. The first thing I read was something my good friend Janessa wrote on her tumblr page in which she said,

"(for the umpteenth time) you will NOT lose weight by joining a gym. A membership does not guarantee weight loss. A DIET (Did I Eat That?) doesn’t equate to fat loss. No magic trick can save you, if all you ever do is sabotage your efforts.

I don’t care what potion, powder or pill you inject, sniff or slurp, you are not guaranteed results. The warning labels on the bottle blatantly inform you of such, clear as crystal.What many fail to overstand is that your mind is the engineer, your will is the mechanic and your heart is the engine. Your trainer, gym, DVD, exercise guru, gadget, supplement, internet resource, platform, forum, ________(fill in the blank) is just a key. And not all keys are calibrated to start all engines; you might have to try a few before the car will run. But ultimately, YOU were given this car and you have to drive it; ~~funny~~ shameful how many cars are in better condition than their owner’s body. But like any car, peak performance can only be attained by optimizing it efficiently in all terrain; manufactured to outlive the toughest of variables. weight loss begins in your mind."

I read this over and over, not because I didn't understand it but because it what I needed to hear. I started to analyze why I hadn't lost weight in the past 6 months. My quick answer is that I sabotaged myself.... alot. But my more in depth answer is that I got away from what was working for me. I stopped losing weight right about the same time I joined a new gym. Its a great gym, has amazing facilities, has plenty of different types of fitness classes. Its also where I got lost in the shuffle! For those who don't know I lost most of my first 80 lbs by lifting weights. That's right people, you heard me right, I dropped those 80 lbs by lifting weights. Did I do cardio? Of course I did, but it was only a supplement to my weight training. I think when I joined my new gym about 6 months ago I got lost with all the new classes they offered. I stopped my lifting routine and started doing zumba, kickboxing, and a few select other classes. Now don't get me wrong these are great classes and I thoroughly enjoyed them, but they aren't the keys that my engine needs right now. Lots of people have lost alot of weight many different ways, not all methods work for everyone. For me I have to go back to my basics and do what worked for me. I'll still do a zumba class or kickboxing class occasionally but my focus will be on the weight training.

Lets do this!

Struggle is part of the journey...

2011-02-27T23:02:00.000-05:00

I have been struggling lately... Really just battling with myself which is usual for me, but I have been losing lately. Being sick for most of last week really didn't help me either, I actually binged a few times which I hadn't done in awhile. My weight loss has been stagnant for months. I haven't gained an extreme amount and I haven't lost an extreme amount. I have hovered right around 400 lbs, I so want to break through that wall..... AGAIN. Its just seems like when I am killing my workouts I cheat with my eating and when I am doing great with my food I slack on workouts. To be honest I need to find balance with both, I think when I over do one I get burnt out and slack on the other. I definitely understand I need to maintain both to reach my goals.

I am not really frustrated just kind of disappointed with myself. I wasted so much of my life and when I see myself wasting more time I get upset with myself. Life is such I guess, just gotta roll with the punches and keep coming back for more. Giving up is not an option for me, my only option is to keep trying, and that's what I'll do.

Today was a good day. My eating was good, I didn't work out since I am still getting over my cold but I did do some things around the house. I had plenty of time to reflect and refocus my energy on whats important.

I am taking it one day at a time.

Trader Joe's Tamale Bake!

2011-02-05T01:29:00.000-05:00

So a coworker of mine told me about a book called "The Cooking with Trader Joe's Cookbook - Dinners Done". Its basically a cookbook that has easy to follow recipes of dishes with ingredients that you can find at Trader Joe's. Being that I am a Trader Joe's LOVER I ordered the book right away. For the past week I have been thumbing threw the book and I have fallen in love with it. The recipes are simple and easy to follow, most don't have too many ingredients and what I love most of all is that the book lists the nutritional information for EVERY recipe.

Tonight I decided that the first dinner recipe I wanted to try was the Tamale Bake. The ingredients needed for the recipe are as follows:

2 (18-oz) tubes of pre-cooked polenta
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 large onion - chopped
3 zucchini squash - sliced
1 (12-oz) package of Soy Chorizo (Excellent stuff by the way!)
2 (15-oz) cans of black beans - drained
1/2 enchilada sauce
1 cup shredded cheese
1/4 cilantro
sour cream - garnish

The directions were as follows:

1. Preheat oven to 350 F

2. Heat olive oil in a skillet. Saute onion and zucchini until soft, about 5 minutes. Add chorizo and stir. Remove from heat.

3. Lightly oil a 9x13-inch baking pan. Place half of the polenta on the bottom. Sprinkle half each of the chorizo mixture, black beans, enchilada sauce, and shredded cheese. Repeat with the second layer.

4. Cover and bake for 30 minutes until cheese is melted and casserole is piping hot.

Thats pretty much it! Its was so easy to make and it tasted great. The book lists the prep time as 20 minutes and the cooking time as 30 minutes. If you follow the recipe as listed it makes 10 serving and the nutritional information per serving is as follow:

294 calories
12g fat
4g saturated fat
15g protein
35g carbs
10g fiber

ENJOY!

Strong for 23 IN 2011 is OVER!

2011-02-01T23:14:00.000-05:00

Well January is over people!!

Back in the beginning of January my dear friend Pam and I came up with the idea of committing to 23 days of working out during the first month of 2011. We had both been in a slump and needed a challenge to jump start the new year with.

The rules were simple:

1. Workout for at least 23 days of the 31 days in January.

THATS IT!! THATS THE ONLY RULE!!

How did everyone do?? I worked out 21 of the 31 days in January, definitely proud of that!

So I didn't reach the 23 days? WHO CARES! I never have winners and losers in any of my challenges, if you step up and at least accept the challenge then you have already won in my book. I hope it was a great month for everyone, lets push it harder in the month of February!

I'll leave you with this clip from a Rocky Movie, for those of you who don't know I am a Rocky fanatic! Enjoy! ;-)

Checking in with my RD

2011-01-30T22:11:00.001-05:00

So last Wednesday I had an appointment with my RD, and to be honest I was very excited to go to see her. Last time I was in her office I was in a low place, very frustrated with myself and just not in a healthy state of mind. I had been reverting back to some of my binging habits, I felt out of control and it took all my will to not break down in tears in her office.

This visit was different, I am back in control and things have been great since the start of the new year. My RD told me she could tell from my face expressions that I was doing better, she knows by the look on my face whether I am struggling or kicking ass and taking names. She weighed me in and the scale said I was down 6 lbs since the last time I saw her which was in December. I was pleased with that, of course I would like to have seen a larger number but after getting down to 387 lbs and then sabotaging myself back to 416 lbs I was just happy to see the scale moving in the right direction again.

So my official current weight is :

407 lbs

After I weighed in we discussed how my eating was going and I showed her a copy of my food diaries that I have been tracking through MyFitnessPal, she loved them! I have never been able to write down what I eat in the past, I would always stop after about a week. MyFitnessPal makes it so easy and I would highly recommend everyone check it out. I told her since I was finally back on track I wanted to jumpstart my weight loss a little bit by cutting my calories some and she agreed that we could do that. So we changed my meal plan and took my daily calorie intake from 2300 to 2000 calories.

Overall it was a great visit. I walked out of her office confident and ready to hit it hard. I go back to see her in 6 weeks, I got some work to do between now and then!

Pizza Adventure!

2011-01-22T00:39:00.000-05:00

So I have a confession.......... I confess that I LOVE pizza!! I could eat it everyday!

After I left work today I decided I was going to get all my grocery shopping for next week done tonight. While I was at Trader Joe's I got the craving for pizza and the last thing I wanted to do was order a pizza from a chain restaurant, I REFUSED to do that!

So I decided I was going to make some homemade pizza. Luckily Trader Joe's sells dough, I opted to go for the wheat. I picked up some sauce, mozzarella cheese, mushrooms, and turkey pepperoni. Let the pizza making begin!

First thing I did was roll the 16 oz dough into a ball and get it in some flour.

Wheat Dough

Next I started to flatten the dough out. Now what most of you don't know about me is that I paid my way through college by slapping dough in a pizza shop, yes I can spin the dough on one finger and thrown it in air ;-)

Gotta get all the big air bubbles out

Then I stretched it out and got it into the pan.

Next I added a 1/2 cup Trader Joe pizza sauce.

For toppings I used 1/2 cup of part skim mozzarella cheese, 34 slices of turkey pepperoni, and some mushrooms.

Then I popped it in the oven at 375 until it was nice and golden.

The pizza was pretty good! I will say I am not a huge fan of the wheat dough, the taste is overpowering. I will probably go with regular dough next time. Or actually I need to find an alternative to dough. While I was making the pizza I logged all the ingredients into my MyFitnessPal application on my phone to track the calories, the dough accounted for 960 calories of the 1340 calories the pizza had in it. To make sure I didn't go over my daily calorie target I only ate 3 slices and added a salad to top it off.

The calorie breakdown was as follows:

16 oz wheat dough: 960 calories
1/2 cup pizza Sauce: 80 calories
1/2 cup mozzarella cheese: 160 calories
34 pieces of turkey pepperoni : 140 calories
Total: 1340 calories

Overall this was so easy to make and alot more satisfying then ordering pizza from a restaurant. You don't have to give up your favorite foods to eat healthy, you just gotta find ways to make it work.

2010 done...2011 starts..LETS TURN IT UP!!

2011-01-16T00:47:00.000-05:00

Its officially 2011 people!! The last year has been quite the roller coaster for me. It was a great year overall. This time last year I had alot of unknowns in my life. I was unemployed and searching for a job in one of the worst job markets and to top it off I was searching for this job in one of the most damaged industries by the recession. Health wise I was doing good, I was spending my time off from work in the gym and was down to 440 lbs from 480 lbs. At the time I was under alot of stress from my job situation, I really had no clue where or what I was going to do, but no matter what I knew I had to keep pushing myself in the gym. I think one of the most important things I learned from last year was that you cant always control every aspect of your life but there will be aspects that you can control and you should concentrate on those instead of always worrying about the ones you cant.

I eventually found a job in August and it turns out that I really enjoy it. The atmosphere is nice and I work with some really cool people. A few months after I started my new job I bought my first house! The whole home buying process went very smooth for me and I am very excited to have my own place to call home.

My First Home

Weight loss wise last year for me was pretty good with a few bumps in the road which I have learned to accept as something normal. Like I said earlier I started off 2010 weighing 440 lbs. when July came around I weighed in at 387! Breaking into the 300's was such a great feeling! But sadly after I started my new job I started to struggle a bit. I had figured out how to live a healthy lifestyle while being unemployed but I had no idea how to do this with a busy work schedule. To be honest it really took me about 4 months to figure things out again, and during those 4 months I fell into old habits. I started overeating again, I binged some, I skipped some workouts, and ultimately I gained some weight back, and to be completely transparent with you the amount of weight that I gained back was 30 lbs. Was I down about? Yes. Did I give up? HELL NO.

So here we are and its 2011. Whats in the past is in the past, we live and we learn. I have started off this year great and I am looking forward to TURNING IT UP this year. I don't personally do the whole "New Years Resolution" thing anymore but there is something I did do. The other day I was watching my friend @Fitarella's show on the pulse network called Fitarella TV and she mentioned Chris Brogan's idea of choosing three words to guide the rest of your year instead of making new years resolutions and that's what I decided to do.

My three words are: HONESTY, RESILIENT, MADNESS

Honesty - Because I want to be honest with myself in all situations of life. I spent so many years of my life lying to myself and living in denial. No matter what happens, whether its a moment of success or a brief moment of failure I want to be able to be honest with myself.

Resilient - Because no matter what, no matter how bad it gets, now matter how far off track I happen to be, I can and will always bounce back. I choose to bounce back.

Madness - Because when you see me in the gym you are going to think I am a mad man! I am going to do things that nobody thinks I can do, I am going to push myself to limits I didn't know existed.

And last but not least I have crafted a motto for 2011:

When you're tired, keep going!
When it burns, keep pushing!
When you quit, try again!

Thank you for all the support in 2010! Let turn it up and make 2011 unforgettable!

STRONG FOR 23 IN 2011!

2010-12-31T13:30:00.001-05:00

2011 is here!! I don't know about you guys but I am ready to kick off this year with a huge bang filled of sweat, paint, soreness, and maybe a few tears!

My dear friend Pam and I came up with the idea of committing to 23 days of working out during the first month of 2011. We have both been in a slump and needed a challenge to jumpstart the new year with.

The rules of the challenge are simple:
1. Workout for at least 23 days of the 31 days in January.

THATS IT!! THATS THE ONLY RULE!!

Can you commit! Join us!! Tweet me sweating_it_off let me know you are down for the challenge and I will add you to our twitter list!

You can read Pam's blog post here also!!

Chris can run, so can you!

2010-12-31T12:53:00.000-05:00

I want to share with you the story of how it all got started for Chris!

You can find his blog at http://chris-losing-it.blogspot.com/ and follow him on twitter at @cmm_losing_it

Chris with his Son!

For at least the last twelve years I have been dealing with near constant back pain. Some days would be worse than others, occasionally resolved with some aspirin, message, and sometimes to the point of prescribed pain killers. I say twelve years because that is when I first remember visiting a physical therapist for the back pain. But something tells me I did not just wake up one morning and think this needed medical attention.

Fast forward about nine years. By this point I have now left school with wild and crazy aspirations of finding a dream job, just to find myself settling in to the 8-5 job that brought mild enjoyment, getting married and with that all the responsibilities of being a grown up. During this time I went from the 210 I was all through high school to an all time high of 298. I never wanted to break the 300 mark, so on a few occasions I would says enough, I’m running a 5k by my birthday. I would start watching what I eat, count calories, and get on the treadmill. Once again the back pain would kick in, starting on the lower right side of my back shooting down to my leg. After a few times of this and not being able to find any relief I would give up and fall back into my old ways.

I have been been to the doctors a few times to get this problem resolved. Prescription drug was always a option that was prescribed, at home physical therapy, going to a physical therapist, losing weight, and the scariest of options getting my vertebrae fused to resolve the problem. I tried everyone of these options except the surgery and nothing helped. I was beginning to believe this would have to be something I would be living with for life.

Fast-forward to last year, once again the scale was getting up there, still never breaking 298 but now with my son around I wanted to be a better healthier role model. So with a coworker we joined a gym with the hopes of pushing each other. Once again on the treadmill I tried to take it easy knowing the pain that would come with over doing it. But the treadmill was not my problem this time; it was the trainer who you got three free sessions with. So we sit down, I inform her of my lower back pain and bulging disks. She takes out the predetermined exercise guide and we go at it. On the second session she has me doing some squats, felt fine at the time but the next day my back was hurting. So on the third and what would be my last time at that gym she had me do a different version of squats on a machine. Once again felt fine, finished up the workout, showered, and went to work.

Now is where everything takes a major turn for the worse. I go to get up and after a few steps my right leg gives out, no pain, nothing just STOP and I fall. I catch myself on a file cabinet holding myself up. Thinking this was all a result of a hard work out I get up and start off again, falling once again. I fell about a dozen times at work that day, everyone could hear a 270lb man falling hard on a file cabinet in a cube farm. So not only scared that my leg was not working I was also able to add embarrassment. I coworker hooked me up with muscle relaxers and pain killers. Drugged up at lunch I tried walking again and was able to. So off to the med center I go, for more of those wonderful drugs. After a week straight of taking them I started to try to wean myself off them since I did not want to do more damage or become dependent.

Ever since that day I have not fallen again but the fear of doing severe damage and possibly crippling myself hung heavy on my mind. I was referred by a friend to a chiropractor that helped him out. Went in had the consultation visit and was informed my hips are out of line, I have two bulging discs, and my neck is also severely out of line. What great news! And if I am willing to put in the work at $50 a visit until the deductible is paid off, $15 after that till the coverage ends, and then we can discuss the fee after that he will be able to cure me! Ya, let’s get started, to his credit my back did feel better for a few, but I would still have the tightening and pain if I walked any distance. But he seemed to be more focused on my neck and I just wanted to say, that is not something I fear, the back is what scares me. Well after a few weeks of going three times a week at $50 a visit the money we did not have in the first place for it ran out so I had to stop. I was slowly getting over the fear of crippling myself but the back pain was still there.

Fast forward to a few months ago, the same day I say an article on barefoot running that I put aside for another day. My wife came home informing me her gym teacher was talking about these new things from Vibram called Five Finger shoes. So I got online checked out the article and started looking into these funky gloves for your feet. The one thing I kept seeing that seemed very promising was people saying it helped with their back pain. So I thought, Wow, if this thing is for real I am willing to give it a shot. I just wanted to be able to walk without the pain, not even thinking about running in them. My wife was also intrigued by them so we went on a search to check them out. After visiting one store and calling three others, which no one had what I was looking for; I was finally able to find a pair at Great Outdoors Provisions, in Cameron Village. So I tried them on, figured I could get use to the toe pockets and picked up my first pair of KSO. I used them solely for walking at first, and surprisingly no back pain! For the first time in at least twelve years NO BACK PAIN! Owe the joy, my feet and legs were sore, but the soreness was nothing compared to the pain I have had to deal with for over a decade. I would get the point where I would wear my regular work shoes then switch over to the Five Fingers for walks. Unfortunately the black camo KSO’s are not exactly something that would be a business casual dress code to conform to the rest of the cube farm. So I made a deal with my wife if I have to reshingle the roof I am getting a pair of the KSO Trek (brown) for the corporate world. From that day forth if I was not on the roof I was wearing Five fingers.

So I got back on the weight loss trek, lost 24lbs so far with a goal of another 26 at least. I started to feel so good with the walking I decided to step it up and try once again for the goal of a 5k by my birthday (in March) When I started looking everything was still mentioning 2010 and had no races I could sign up for yet. So I did the logical thing upped the date, I signed up for my first ever 5k on December 4^th! So now that I am signed up I started the couch to 5k program. As I write this I am now in week 6, having last week completed a constant run/jog for 20 minutes, I’m pretty sure this is more running then I have ever done at one time in my life! Best part, still no back pain, the soreness in the legs comes and goes but I am feeling great! Back on the weight loss trek, about to complete a goal I have set and broke so many times, and even contemplating running a half marathon by my birthday.

To go from one time saying why run when no one is chasing you; to now completing my first 5k with the help of couch to 5k program. To know seriously considering a half marathon!

To think it all started with a pair of funky five fingered shoes.

First 5k! Notice the VFF!

Bonnie's Story - Can you do this too? Of course you can!

2010-12-05T21:48:00.003-05:00

Do you often think to yourself that weight loss is impossible?

Do you ever feel like giving up?

It's true that weight loss is a hard road but its defiantly not impossible. My friend Bonnie is proof that it can be done. I hope you enjoy her story.

You can find her on twitter: @TeachyBon and follow her BLOG

1. Why did you decide to change your lifestyle to a more healthy one & lose weight?

2. How and what changes did you make?
3. What have been the hardest and easiest parts of this journey?
4. How has your life changed?
5. what advice would you give to others trying to become more healthy.

Before Pic:

I was not always overweight. On the contrary, Big Bonnie was not the norm. I was skeletal as a child, skinny in high school. I was always active. I played outside, rode my bike, took dance and gymnastics classes. My mom kept healthy food in the house. We had treats, but they weren't the norm. Trauma in my 20's introduced me to food as a comforting friend, and wow did we hit it off. When I graduated high school, I was 135 pounds. By the time I was 28, I was over 220 pounds.

I was constantly out of breath. My feet ached. My knees hurt all the time. Fat from around my neck would push on my neck at night and wake me up. My hips hurt from laying in bed when I woke up.

I was always a talker, always funny and ready with a joke. My jokester personality went out of control – because if I'm funny, maybe you won't notice that I'm fat.

Well mean questions from friends and family hurt me. Who can blame them? I gained a huge amount of weight in a very short time. They had every right to be concerned.

I tried Atkins, Slim Fast, Weight Watchers... every diet plan known to man. Nothing worked. I lost 9 pounds on Weight Watchers, then slowly gained it back. Weigh ins turned into tearfests. I was trying so hard. Why wasn't this working? I stopped going.

In 2009, I lost 14 pounds in yet another attempt to lose weight. At the time, I thought – lame, Bonnie. 14 pounds in one year – who cares? However, that year set a strong foundation for what was to come in 2010. Throughout 2009, I made very small changes. Carrying a water bottle with me everywhere. Switching to fat free flavored creamer in my coffee instead of tons of cream and sugar. Cutting back on alcohol. Tiny changes I could live with, and not feel like I was denying myself. Those 14 pounds were enough to take me from a BMI of obese, to just at the line for overweight.

For Christmas that year, I received a Wii Fit. I knew that the Wii Fit was going to change my Mii (a little avatar version of me) from the skinny self I created, into a more realistic version of myself. I dreaded it. Sure enough, just like in life, my skinny Mii ballooned into a chunker. I got a little teary. It was like watching it happen again.

My big joke was that I was allergic to exercise. I wasn't really sure what I could do with myself anyway. A few years back, I made an attempt at yoga, but my body got in the way. Walking hurt. But, I could play for 30 minutes on my Wii. I remember waking up sore, but a new sore than I usually woke up with.. I weighed in on my Wii every day. To my amazement, the weight was coming off.

If I was going to exercise, I didn't want to ruin it by continuing to eat junk until I was sick. I needed to make more changes, but I didn't know what. I started reading EVERYTHING about weight loss and food I could get my hands on. I got an air popper, and quit my nightly bag of Movie Theater Butter Popcorn. I bought FRUIT and ATE IT before it rotted.

I learned that my daily lunch - microwave “diet” meals have too much sodium, so I quit them. I found ways to make quick, easy healthy dinners at home, and stopped ordering take out or hitting the drive thru for dinner every night.

January, February, and March passed. I had some really rough things happen during that time, but instead of eating my feelings I exercised them. The Wii was getting easy! I started the Couch to 5k running program, and the pounds continued dropping even faster than before.

I know for many people, weight loss is a struggle. I have to be honest – once I started going, for me it wasn't. I look back at my weight loss though the year, and it was very steady and stable. I had one meltdown one time, because I was sick of brown rice, grilled chicken, and vegetables, for dinner each night and I missed Taco Bell and Chick Fil A. At this point I learned moderation. I don't need a 12 nugget super sized meal. A kids meal will satisfy me, and not leave me feeling deprived. I know that many people completely cut out fast food – that isn't me. I eat everything I want to, I'm just reasonable about it. I felt amazing, it was worth it to me.

I've lost almost 70 pounds total from 2009. All of the materials I read warned me to prepare myself – my life wasn't going to magically change from losing weight. It would be the same, I would just be smaller. But, my life has completely changed! How could it possibly be the same? The girl that is allergic to exercise, and the girl training for a half marathon can't live the same life. My Mii is small again. I run 3-4 times a week. I go to boot camp and kickboxing weekly. I am infinitely more fulfilled, I am happier than I thought I could be. I am confident. I am still funny, still the same jokester, but not quite as obnoxious about it now. It's okay if you notice me for me.. I'm a pretty cool person, and I don't need to distract you from anything.

Can you do this too? Of course you can! I have two friends that I know of that I have inspired. One has lost 65 pounds, and the other has lost 20. I'm honored to be a part of their journey. Start small! Find little changes that you can live with. Swap out 1 thing in your lunch for a healthier choice. Drink more water. Find an exercise you can do. I always wanted to run, but when I started, I was in no shape to. I had to work my way there. It might be Wii Fit, it might be walking. We all start somewhere and there is no shame! The shame is in wasting time, wasting your life being miserable. I deserved more. I was worth more. You are too!

After Pic:

Many steps forward and a few back...

2010-11-20T23:57:00.001-05:00

I need to confess something, I need to get this off my chest. I have been struggling lately. For the past 3 months I have been constantly fighting with myself, inside my head it feels like a war is going on. Its me verse FOOD. I am sad to say that I have been binge eating again. I don't know why I get these urges but they are always there. For the past year and half I have been able to control them for the most part but lately its seems like I have a losing record.

Binge eating is hard to explain, honestly its hard for me to even admit to myself that I do it. Its mentally exhausting trying to fight them off, it hardest thing I have ever been through. Food can be an extremely powerful drug. While I am binging I find myself asking "why am I doing this" but that doesn't stop me from finishing the food. I really don't know why I do it. I haven't really been stressed out or anything, things have actually been good. I personally think that I have been doing it so long that my body thinks its normal.

I knew I needed to talk about it with someone so I decided to confess to my RD last week. When I got to my appointment I weighed in and she was kind of puzzled by the number. It was a significant gain. I was honest with her and told her what was going on, I could feel my eyes watering up and I really had to fight back the tears. She was really so understanding and really helped me realize that I wasn't alone in this. We discussed the binges and she gave me some ideas on how I can work through the urges. I was really proud of myself for telling her everything, this isn't exactly the easiest thing to talk about and most people wont understand it anyways.

So after taking many steps forward I have taken a few back. When I weighed in last week at my RD's office the scale said 409 lbs, that's a gain of 22 lbs in the last 3 months. I remember after I broke into the 300's I said never again! Well it happen again and that's ok. I haven't given up and I am not sad, upset or depressed about all of this. The tone for this post is positive. I just wanted to share, I feel like telling the whole world will help me get through this. Its just one of the curves in this long windy and somewhat bumpy road!

Never know where you're going until you know where you've been...

2010-11-17T20:36:00.000-05:00

So on Saturday I turned the big 30! Hard to believe right? (just agree with me!) Now I have never been big on birthdays but this one really meant something to me. This birthday was the first one in a long time in which I felt like I was on the right path in my life. I actually feel like I am in control of the direction I go from here. I can stay on the right path or veer off and make a u-turn towards the dead end road that I don't want to drive down. I am more aware of my inner workings than I have ever been. I can admit to myself when I fail and I can applaud myself when I succeed. When I do I fail I choose not to beat myself up because ultimately that only keeps me down longer. I think being aware of your short comings and being able to rationally "discuss" them with yourself is a big deal, at least for me it is. I spent so many years of my life lying to myself, disguising my actions, and burying my feelings deep inside where even I couldn't reach them.

I am done with that way of living. I didn't reach all the goals that I had set for myself for when I turned 30. First of all I always thought I'd be married with kids by now, which is kind of hard to do when you don't let people in. I know the my weight has a lot to do with that and I know I will work past it, when the right time comes it will happen.

Career wise I thought I would be a little farther than where I am now but that was totally out of my control. Spending 14 months out of work will put a lot of things into perspective about everything in your life and my career goals have changed because of that and I am confident I will reach the goals I have set for myself. I am happy with my new job and I really enjoy the people I work with.

Health wise I reached some of my goals and I have laid a strong foundation to reach the rest of them. When I decided I wanted to lose weight in May 2009 I had set the goal that I wanted to be 320 pounds by my 30th birthday. I didn't reach that goal and thats ok. I know I will reach it and actually I will reach way beyond it! One thing I did do was rid myself of sleep apnea. Well a doctor hasn't told me this but I know its gone, my body knows it. I feel great health wise. I surely don't feel 30 years old and in my opinion I don't look it.

I am declaring this my breakout year!! I expect many great things from myself and I cant wait to see what unfolds. I have so much support in my life that I have no option but to succeed. The funny thing is I have never met most of the people who have made such a huge difference in my life and who have supported me beyond imagination. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart and I hope our paths cross one day. Because of you I promise I will do my best to always pay it forward.

Its that time again!!

2010-11-14T21:39:00.001-05:00

So if you haven't heard I am taking another shot at the Couch to 5k running program!! I will be sharing my journey this time via @Rita_Barry's blog FitBlogger.

Check out my introductory post! http://fitblogger.ca/why-couch-5k/

Oh and my partner in crime who will be sharing her C25K experience also is @BigGirlBombshell and you can find her blog here http://biggirlbombshell.com/ and her introductory post here! http://fitblogger.ca/why-c25k-why-now/

Pumpkin Pancakes for Dinner!

2010-10-18T00:20:00.000-04:00

The other day I was thumbing thru my Mens Health Magazine and I found a recipe for pumping pancakes. I decided to make them for dinner tonight and they were delicious and very filling!

Try them and let me know what you think!

Pumpkin Pancakes Recipe

Ingredients:
2 cups of your favorite dry pancake mix
3 tbsp dark-brown sugar
2 1/2 tsp pumpkin-pie spice
1 1/2 cups milk
1 cup canned pure pumpkin puree (not pie filling)
1 egg, beaten
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 tbsp vegetable oil, plus more for the griddle
pure maple syrup

Directions:

In a large bowl, combine the pancake mix, brown sugar, and pumpkin pie spice. In another large bowl, mix together the milk, pumpkin, egg, vanilla extract, and oil. Add the pumpkin mixture to the dry ingredients and stir to combine.

2. Heat a lightly oiled griddle or large frying pan on medium high. Pour the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake. Cook the pancakes until bubbles form in the batter and the edges begin to brown. Then flip them and cook until the other sides are lightly browned.

3. Serve the pancakes drizzled with maple syrup.

CHALLENGE: 30 DAYS OF NO EATING OUT

2010-09-25T14:17:00.001-04:00

Ok so I threw the idea of a 30 Day "no eating out" challenge out on my twitter feed yesterday and it raised alot of interest! So I decided to go ahead and move forward with this. To be honest I really wanted to do this for myself and the fact that others want to do it with me only makes it more awesome. Strength in numbers right?!

So lets get down to business! The challenge is "not eating out for 30 days". Please realize this challenge isn't about limiting your food choices or not eating the foods you love to eat. Its more about being more conscious and aware of what we are putting into our bodies. You don't have to cut out the things that you enjoy eating and I don't want you to.

I realize a lot of grey areas are involved with this challenge and I thought about it all last night and decided on this criteria.

The Guidelines:

No eating at any restaurants. No fast food, no drive thru, no sit down places, and no take out.

You must eat all of your meals from items you purchased from the grocery store. We will go ahead and say that anything you can buy at a grocery store is fair game. Use your judgment, if you cheat you're only cheating yourself :)

Buying drinks from outside places is also acceptable. Example: Starbucks (Maybe I should do a 30 day no Starbucks challenge next time LOL)

You don't have to eat your meals at home, they only need to be prepared at home. Feel free to take them with you and eat them anywhere you like.

Exceptions will be made if you happen to go on vacation or a business trip during the challenge. I feel this is fair in order to open the challenge up to more people.

The challenge will start on October 1st & end on October 30th.

OPTIONAL: Every friday of the challenge email me a picture of one of your meals. It can be any meal of the day. I will post this picture on my blog.

OPTIONAL: Track all of your spending on food items for the 30 days. Then after the challenge is over track your spending on food for an additional 30 days and see how they compare. I personally will be doing this.

ARE YOU READY TO ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE ???

If so please email me at sweating_it_off@hotmail.com with your name (only need your first name) and twitter handle (if you have one). I will add you to my email list and twitter list.

**During all my challenges I usually send out daily or almost daily emails with an inspirational quote to everyone. But don't worry I BCC everyone so that your email address remains private. If you do not want to receive my daily emails then please say so in the email you send me to sign up for the challenge**

GOOD LUCK!!

Mel's Success Story

2010-09-18T19:06:00.000-04:00

I had the pleasure of meeting Mel (@GeminiMel02) through twitter and she has been gracious enough to share her story with me and all of you. I think alot of us can relate to what Mel has been through. She truly proves that anyone and everyone can do this, its all up to YOU!

Success stories like this keep me going, they keep me fighting! I hope you enjoy Mel's story.

When I first started out on this journey, my goal was simply to lose weight by any means necessary to be like everyone else. Any diet you can think of, I’ve probably tried. I’ve been on and off diets for as long as I can remember, going back to the age of eight. And, no matter what, as my age increased, so did the number on the scale. I played basketball throughout practically my entire scholastic career - until college that is. And, though I’d always been pretty significantly overweight, it was in college where I “blossomed” into the obese category. Without basketball, my daily activity consisted of walking to and from the dorms, my classes, and the dining hall. We ordered pizzas at 11 at night at least three times a week. My freshman 15 turned into the sophomore 20, the junior 50… I think you get where this is headed by now. The bigger I got, the more I ate, and the more I wanted to be small. Somewhere down the lines, I was obviously quite confused. I would get so upset over being overweight that I’d say forget it all and overeat. Add in a few very conflicted relationships and this was the exact recipe for disaster.

One morning in November of 2008, I woke up to my own loud snoring and made the decision that enough was enough and it was time to end my life as it currently existed. I began each morning by waking up at 5am, heading to the gym and walking on the treadmill for an hour. Within two weeks I was walking for two hours. It was as simple as just taking that first step and believing that 1) weight loss is something possible for someone who isn’t on TV and doesn’t have an unlimited supply of finances and 2) I was more than worth the change.

After I started walking, the weight began to drop off – talk about encouragement and motivation. Then I decided to do a complete revamp of my diet. I cut out fast food, soda and even juice. I cut back significantly on salt and sugar and even just my overall unnecessary intake of processed foods. Later on down the line, I fell madly in love with Crossfit (shout out to the team at crossfitoakland.com), a combination of strength and cardiovascular training using Olympic lifts and calisthenics amongst other unconventional things and ideas.

The more weight I seemed to lose, the happier I got and the harder it became to continue losing this weight. By February of 2010, I’d lost 83lbs. There would be weeks my weight would fluctuate a few pounds and it seemed like I’d be stuck at that point forever. I even felt as though I looked exactly the same – as though I still hadn’t lost a substantial enough amount of weight. I was still stuck seeing myself as who I used to be that I couldn’t even see who I had become. I looked to others who were going through similar struggles for suggestions on how to overcome the plateau and barrier. I took another good look at my diet, bought a heart rate monitor and started pushing myself to new levels.

As of September 2010, I have lost 105lbs. The most amazing moment of my journey was going into a normal department store and being able to buy a pair of jeans and a shirt - something I am sure many people have taken for granted. And, I’m sure to many it doesn’t really seem like that big of a deal. But, when you’re used to shopping in Big and Tall and having to order all of your clothing online at twice the price, it’s pretty huge.

Ultimately, what I have found to be the most inspirational and poignant part of my journey are all of the people that I have met and the lives that I have touched and changed forever. I have inspired coworkers, friends, family, associates and even acquaintances with one simple phrase, “I thought it was impossible…it isn’t.” I still have another 40 lbs to go but, I’m sure I’ll be at the finish line in no time. My weight is no longer my barrier. Now, this 10k I’m preparing to do, that’s another story.

I could go on for days about how important fitness is. I could also say that losing weight is as easy as calories in and calories out. But, I won’t. The most important thing I’ve learned is that until I dealt with all my emotional issues and I was truly ready to make a change, change was impossible. No matter what anyone has told you and no matter what you’ve even told your self, change is possible and there for the taking if you really want it. Despite what I thought (and I’m sure many others have thought) it was never my size, my weight, my parents, fast food, or even my parents getting in my way to success. The power for change was always mine – I just had to make the decision on what to do with it.

Change your thinking and you will change your life – I’m living proof.

BEFORE & AFTER!

"What's said on the run, stays on the run"

2010-09-11T11:27:00.000-04:00

I have always wanted to be a runner. I never really knew much about it but in the back of my mind I knew that it was something I always wanted to pursue.

So a few weeks ago I reached out to my friend Jennifer, who is a runner, to ask her if she was interested in writing a guest post on my blog about running and I am VERY happy to say she was. Honestly I think what she has written is amazing and inspiring. You see for a guy my size running has always seemed to be out of touch, it just did not seem like an option. I tried it before and it just didn't work. Jennifer has inspired me to give it another shot, this time I have a new perspective on it and I am ready to see where it leads me.

Thank you for answering my questions and writing this Jennifer !

I encourage everyone to read her post below!

You can also reach Jennifer on Twitter at @JenZenator

And you can follow her blog at http://jenzenator.blogspot.com/

1. When and why did you start running?

I'm actually a late in life runner. I didn't start running until my 30s. I was never "athletic" in high school and in fact didn't really participate in sports due to my lack of confidence in myself. I started to learn to work out in college through some great friends and out of necessity - the dreaded Freshman 15 (OK - so it was 20, but who's keeping track!). But even then my cardio was pretty limited to the elliptical machine. I felt comfortable on that. I didn't branch out into running until after a tough break-up. I needed to try something new and was tired of being afraid of the treadmill. So, I started slowly jogging on it. I could barely do one mile. But I would run as long as I could and then take a walk-break. One mile slowly turned into two miles and two miles slowly turned into three. I was ecstatic when I was able to complete three miles without stopping! ME? The spazzy, non-coordinated girl just ran three miles straight?

Then I started blogging about running and met some fantastic girls online through blogs. They wanted to all meet up at a race. The Chicago half marathon was the race of choice since it was pretty central to all of us and in a great city. I was Scared. To. Death. I had never run a race before - not even a 5k. How was I going to do a half marathon as my first race?? I picked a great beginner's half marathon training plan through www.halhigdon.com and stuck to it. We supported each other through our blogs and emails. With their encouragement I got through my first 6 miler, 8 miler and 10 miler. Race day came and my stomach was in knots. The furthest I had run was 10 miles. Could I make it through 13.1? One of the girls in our group was luckily the same pace. We ran the whole race together and encouraged and pushed each other through to the finish. I could not believe I had just run a half marathon! And I LOVED it! At that point I was hooked.

Running has been a part of my life ever since. I'm now training for my second full marathon in October and about to run my 11th half marathon this month. I have suffered surges and injury set-backs but keep coming back to it for more punishment.

2. what do you enjoy the most and dislike the most about it?

I enjoy the simplicity of running. It doesn't take a lot of expensive gear or crazy gadgets. You put on your shoes, your running clothes, walk out the door and just go. It's as easy as that. You can run as long/short or as fast/slow as you want. And running is something you can do anywhere. Whether you are at home or on travel you can always find a place to run or you can at least find a treadmill if the weather is bad.

I also love the sense of self accomplishment it gives me. After a good, long, hard run I feel so great about myself. I look back and think, "I did that." I often marvel at how much my body can do and how far you can push it. I have more respect for my body because of running. I listen to it more and take much better care of it. It's the machine that keeps me going.

Running is also very therapeutic for me. After a hard day or stressful week, nothing feels better than to just head out the door and run it out. "Running is cheaper than therapy", (I stole that from onemoremile.com) but it's so true. I've had some of my best crying and anger sessions while on the run. Running just puts life into perspective and often gives me clarity. When you are pushing through the pain - marveling at what your body can do - and God blesses you with a beautiful sunset or cool, autumn breeze to accompany you on the run, you just have to stop and marvel at his Grace. Dwelling on how mean your boss was to you today just becomes inconsequential.

What do I dislike most about running? It hurts. It's hard. It's stinky. And you sweat....a lot. Running is not easy. It's work. But I guess that's why you get the most rewards out of it.

3. how has running affected your life?

I have so much more self-confidence from running. This all goes back to the sense of accomplishment I mentioned earlier. When you set out for a goal (like running for 30 minutes without stopping) and achieve it, you can't help but marvel a bit at yourself. It has also taught me the value of hard work, preparedness and determination. You cannot run a race without preparing for it, and that preparation takes hard work and determination.

Running has also really allowed me to meet some amazing people. Running is actually quite social. There are running groups everywhere. Runners are so welcoming and accepting of all people, shapes, ages, sizes and speeds. Never be afraid that you're too slow. Everyone had to start somewhere and all of us runners remember that time. If you are a beginner they are so encouraging and great to give you advice. I have managed to make some great, lasting friendships through running. I have to laugh because running can be quite the buffer. When you're out on a long run with other runners, you start to talk, and talk, and talk. Before long you're telling these other runners the most intimate details of your life and they are reciprocating. We have a saying, "What's said on the run, stays on the run". It's kind of our "safe zone" to talk about anything and everything.

4. what advice would you give to people who would like get into running?

I LOVE seeing new runners and someone who's interested in getting started. Here goes:

INVEST IN A GOOD PAIR OF RUNNING SHOES - and get properly fitted. Find a local running store where they will measure your foot, watch your stride and even look at your foot shape to see what kind of supportive shoe you need to be in. Shoes are about the most expensive thing in running, but they also make a huge difference. It also took me going through about three pairs before I found the brand and shoe that I liked and that worked for me. This may be some trial and error but the right shoe makes all the difference. You will also need to replace the shoes approximately every 300 miles. I can start to feel some soreness in my joints and shins when my shoes start to go. That usually coincides with about 300 miles for me.
START SLOW. Most beginning runners start out way too fast, burn out quick and then get frustrated or even worse, injured. This is not an all or nothing sport unless you're planning on doing a bunch of sprint distances (which make me vomit). Just start slow and set a goal for yourself. Try and run 5 minutes without stopping. The next week go for 10 minutes. You will be surprised at how quickly your body will adapt. The speed will come. Also slowly add distance. Don't try and do too much too soon. Most running experts say don't add more than 10% total distance each week. If you ran 12 miles total last week, only add one or two more the next week and so on.
WALK. Yup...I said walk. You are no less of a runner if you take walk breaks. The run/walk method is a great way to start training for any distance and I know several super speedy runners who still use this method. You can read more about it on www.jeffgalloway.com. I'm a huge fan of run/walk. I still use it on some of my super long runs. Start with run one minute - walk one minute and slowly ramp it up to where you're running longer than you're walking.
FUEL YOUR BODY. Your body is a machine and it needs maintenance and fuel to run properly. Most of my crappy runs I have been able to attribute to poor fueling and hydration. I either didn't eat/drink enough or ate/drank the wrong things. The stomach game is tough for runners. You have to trial and error and find what works for you. I eat a small 100 calorie snack 15 minutes before a run. I'm a big fan of the small Lara bars. I then re-fuel with another 100 calorie snack every 45 minutes (Gu, Honey Stingers, Shot Blocks, etc.) I also stay away from heavy, greasy, fatty meals the day before and day of a run. I made the mistake of eating Chinese food take-out the night before a long run. The only running I was doing was to the bathroom. Hydration is SUPER important too. You should drink water before, during (if a relatively long run) and after a run. Try and hydrate where your urine is relatively clear. When it comes to pee, yellow may be mellow but clear keeps in you in gear.
SIGN UP FOR A LOCAL RACE. Find a local 5K fun run and commit to it. Pay for it. Tell people you are running it. Shout it at your neighbors and people in the grocery store (as long as your neighbors aren't the gun-toting kind). Signing up for a race and committing to it makes it all more real and helps keep you on track with your training. The fear of flopping on your face at a race is a real motivator. ;)
KEEP A RUNNING LOG. This is a real motivator and lets me see how far I've come. Log your distance, time, weather, what you ate/drank, and how the run felt. This will help you keep track of what works and what doesn't on your runs. www.dailymile.com has a really good work-out log that lets you track all of this online and share with other folks who are crazy runners like you.
GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. Consistently try and push yourself. When you get comfortable, try and run a little harder or faster. Also try something new. Find and explore a new running route. If you train on the treadmill mostly, take it outside. Find a running group and meet up with them. Sign up for a new race distance. Mix it up. This will keep you motivated and excited about running.
THERE WILL BE GOOD DAYS AND BAD DAYS. There will be days when you are giving it everything you have but your body is just not cooperating. Just listen to your body. Take a rest day. Try again the next day. Usually for every bad run, I have followed up a day or two later with a great run.
HAVE FUN! This is most important. Just get out there and have fun with it! I usually take about one run day a week and just go run. No pace watch, no gear, no worries about time or distance - just me and the pavement. This usually reminds me of why I love to run.

The Runner's World has a great website and wealth of running information, great forums and a good beginner section. http://www.runnersworld.co.uk/beginners/big-beginner-index/1461.html Twitter is a super way to hook up with other runners too (I'm @JenZenator). There are a ton of us on there, all ready to encourage you every step of the way. Also your local running store will be full of people who are passionate about the sport and can give you advise and help.

Best of luck and happy running!

So I tried Yoga...... I tried YOGA?!

2010-08-24T22:44:00.000-04:00

So I have been toying with the idea of trying yoga ever since I joined my new gym about a month ago. I had checked the schedule many times and even watched a few classes through the window of the studio but I hadn't been brave enough to enter..... Until today that is!

So today I finally walked through those doors, I can even begin to tell you how nervous I was. The class which was called Hatha Yoga started at 7pm, and I showed up around 6:50 so I could pick where I wanted to sit in the studio. When I walked in there were a few people already setup and stretching getting ready for class to begin. I grabbed a yoga mat and found a nice roomy place near the far end of the studio, not quite on the back row but the row right before it. As it got closer to 7 the room starting filling up and I wont lie I felt like people were staring at me like I didn't belong there. You see I constantly feel like people always stare at me in the gym but I know its just in my head, its hard to get past that belief but I am getting better about it everyday. I quickly shook off the notion and just tried to stay calm, I wont lie I really wanted to get up and leave but there was no way I was going to do that.

At 7 sharp the lights went off , music was turned on, and class started. The instructor asked if anyone was new and me and few people raised our hands. So we started doing our different moves and stretches. Everything was new to me, I didn't know any of the names of the moves but I kept a close eye on the instructor and tried to keep up the best I could.

About 15 min into the class I found myself in a downward dog position and I was sweating like crazy! I thought to myself I am sweating from YOGA?! Damn right I was! We did a series of poses that went from a downward dog into a plank position and then into a cobra pose and back up into a downward dog. Now at my size that isn't easy but I did it! And it felt good. So like I said at 15 min into the class I was wondering what I had gotten myself into but I knew I wasn't going to quit. It was an hour class and I made myself understand that I was going to be there for the whole hour, NO EXCUSES. We did a bunch of other poses and to be honest I don't remember most of the names, I was just trying to concentrate on my breathing and my balance. Oh we did do something called a spinal twist I believe, those feel GOOD!

So at the end of class we laid on our backs with our eyes closed while the instructor told us to imagine a white hole or something on our chest. So I laid there breathing in and out and trying to imagine this white object on my chest. She said imagine it spreading to your pelvis and toward your head. She said some other stuff that I cant quite remember and to be honest I thought she was crazy at first. But honestly I got really relaxed and I felt extremely calm inside. It almost felt like I was somewhere else for a few minutes. It felt really good!

So I can finally scratch yoga from my list of things I want to try. It was a great experience and I can see why people love it. Will I try it again??...... ABSOLUTELY! I plan on fitting it in to my weekly routine and I cant wait until my next class.

I wonder if I will feel tonight class in the morning? ..... We shall see :)

I got a job! OH @#$% I GOT A JOB?!?!

2010-08-11T12:39:00.000-04:00

So as many of you know I have been unemployed for over a year, until last Tuesday that is. I am a construction professional and well lets just say construction is not a great industry to be in during this current economic condition.

But anyways of course I was extremely happy that I was going back to work but then it hit me! I thought to myself , "OH @#$% I GOT A JOB?!?! WHEN WILL I WORK OUT? HOW WILL I EAT CORRECTLY!". You see over the past year I have been able to workout and eat whenever I wanted, I had no stresses that involved my schedule. I did panic for a few short minutes but I quickly realized that in the past year I have built a strong foundation and that I could adapt to any situation.

First thing I did after I calmed down was call my Registered Dietitian to schedule an earlier appointment, I wasn't supposed to see her for another month. I just wanted to restructure my meal plan since I knew I would be "awake" longer now and I needed to ensure I was eating enough of the right foods to get me through the day and my busy workout schedule.

Second thing I did was go buy a nice sized lunch box. I often tell people if you want to be successful then you need to plan ahead! My plan was to eat breakfast and dinner at home most nights and carry all the food I needed in between those meals with me. So far its worked out great, when its time to eat I just reach down below my desk and grab what I need. No drive thru's or snack machines!

Third thing I did was join a new gym. After losing almost 100 pounds I knew it was time for me to SHAKE THINGS UP. The gym I had been using was just your basic gym, and for $10 dollars a month you really couldn't complain. Now my new gym (Lifetime Fitness) is amazing! They are open 24-7 which works out great for me, there will be no excuses for not working out. Also they have all the facilities I need to start my triathlon training. Oh wait I haven't told you guys this yet, but YES I am going to start training for a triathlon! Its not going to happen overnight but its something I will work on until I feel ready to attempt one. I have to personally thank my good friend Pam for encouraging me to even consider doing a triathlon! So far the new gym has been amazing, I have shared my story with some of the staff and they have all welcomed me with open arms. I cant wait to try all the fitness classes that they offer! To be honest if they had beds to sleep in I would never leave that place!

Its my second week on the job and I love it so far, but what I am really happy about is how I have adapted to my new situation so quickly. I think the old me would have taken weeks to adapt and I would have definitely used the stress of the change as an outlet to eat endlessly. I am so glad those days are over.

I feel really happy inside, I haven't felt happy in a long time. My overall goals haven't been reached but I have no worries that I will attain them. When I used to think about all the weight I still needed to lose I used to get scared and panic inside, it was overwhelming. I no longer feel like that, it doesn't scare me at all. I know what and how I need to do this, and if i do them then its only a matter of time...

The Versatile Blogger Award!

2010-07-26T15:46:00.000-04:00

Cassie from Life By Cassie has presented me with the Versatile Blogger Award. Thanks Cassie!

The rules for this award are as follows:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Nominate 15 newly discovered blogs.
4. Let your nominees know about the award.

So here it goes!

Thanks Cassie for giving me this award! You have always shown me amazing support and I appreciate it more than you'll ever know!

7 Things about me:

I grew up in Cary, North Carolina. Its a great state but ultimately its not where I plan to settle down. I hope to plant my roots in Chicago, its the most amazing city I have ever been in.
I have a degree in Construction Engineering & Management. Construction has always been a passion of mine since I was a little kid. When I was in kindergarten my teacher told my Mom that I would be an Engineer one day, she said all I ever wanted to do in class was build things. I also plan on getting my MBA in the next few years.
For those of you who don't know I am on a mission to lose 250 lbs. To date I have lost 93 pounds which took me about a year and I am looking forward to losing the rest. Its not the hardest thing I have done and at the same time its not the easiest.
I am an extremely shy person, if you know me online you probably can't tell. When I usually meet new people it takes me awhile to open up and be myself. This isn't true in all cases but it is in most. I have a huge heart but keep it safely guarded.
I have a fear of snakes and heights!
I LOVE PIZZA AND ICE CREAM.
I love to cook for people.

12 Discovered Blogs! (yes I broke the rules)

30 DAY NO SCALE CHALLENGE!

2010-07-22T16:31:00.001-04:00

30 DAY NO SCALE CHALLENGE!!

OK I have a 30 day challenge for anyone and everyone! In the past weeks I have talked to alot of amazing people who are trying to lose weight, get healthier, and just reach personal goals. One of the major topics in alot of the conversations has been the scale and how people don't like the number it shows them. I know society pushes use into these beliefs that we need to weigh a certain number to be happy and healthy. I disagree with this belief, I think the feeling you get when you look at yourself should judge how happy and healthy you feel. The scale is just one of MANY tools we can use to measure success.

HERE IS THE CHALLENGE:

Everyone will weigh-in sometime Sunday July 25th, preferably in the morning. Starting on Monday July 26th I will challenge everyone to not use a scale for 30 DAYS. Yes I did just say 30 days! Whether you are trying to lose weight or not, I think this challenge will be great for everyone. I will be taking part in this challenge also and I want you all to join me. If you are on board then please send me an email with your twitter handle,something you want to accomplish during this challenge, and if you want your starting weight from sunday's weigh-in (optional). Remember this challenge is for people of all shapes, sizes and fitness levels!

Email: sweating_it_off@hotmail.com

Ever judge a book by its cover?

2010-07-20T00:08:00.000-04:00

I was in the gym today doing some step ups when a man I have never met before started a conversation with me. The conversation started by him asking me if I liked the team that was written on my sweatshirt. We talked about the team for about 2 minutes and then he began to tell me how he used to be alot bigger than he was now. He told me he had lost 200 lbs and wanted to lose another 40 lbs. He had lost all the weight just by working out and eating healthy. He used to wear a size 60 pants and was in the 40's now. We had a great conversation about weight loss and healthy living.

Now if he had not started a conversation with me I would have never even thought he would have such an amazing story. Unfortunately in the past I have judged people based on their covers. Sounds kind of ironic right? An overweight guy who has judged people based on the outside picture that is portrayed. For example when I used to see people on who were addicted to drugs and alcohol I would always think to myself "wow those people are so weak, they cant even control themselves". But I was the guy who couldn't control his eating! I would convince myself that I had deeper issues that they couldn't see without even thinking that maybe they had the same issues. I hated that I looked at people like that. Whats even worse is that I used to judge overweight people also. I am not proud of it. I would see large people and think they just didn't care about themselves, or they were to lazy to workout. I would look in the mirror and say I wasn't like them, in my head I put them down to make myself feel better about how I looked. It was a cowardly act but I am just being honest.

I no longer look at people like I used to. I don't want to be judged by my cover and I don't want to judge others by theirs. Everyone has a story, you might not ever get to hear it but it exists.

What is Rocky Balboa mode ?

2010-07-09T17:00:00.000-04:00

Some of you who know me know that I am a huge Rocky nut. To me they are more than just movies, they are a way of life. Rocky never gave up on himself. He started out as being a bum as Mickey would say. He fought his way up from the streets of Philadelphia and into a life of riches and luxury. He never gave up in the ring, even when he was getting beaten to a pulp he always stood up and bounced back. Even after losing everything he had worked for and ending up back in the same streets he started his career in he never have up. He was resilient.

In the last Rocky movie he said something to his son that will stick with me forever,

" The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done ! Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers, saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody ! Cowards do that, and that ain’t you!". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1tXhJniSEc

I mean how true is this! My love for everything Rocky led me to create the twitter hashtag #rockybalboamode. I often use it when talking about my workouts and such. Its more than just a hashtag to me, it means something. Its mean never giving up on yourself no matter what. Never cheating yourself. Never walking away knowing you didn't give it a 100%.

How many times have you been in the gym and decided you weren't going to finish all the sets you intended to finish?

How many times have you cut your cardio short?

How many times have you said I cant do it?

I have done all those things in the past and I cheated myself by doing them. Your body does not control what it can and cant do, its your mind that controls it. This doesn't mean that your body will never give up on you, yes your muscles can literally fatigue and give up. But there is always a way to finish what you started. You can always drop the weight down some, you can slow your pace, YOU CAN DO IT.

Another Rocky Balboa mode principle is always being honest with yourself, this has been one of my key ingredients to my success in weight loss. I often tell people its easy to be honest with others, but the hardest thing in the world is being honest with yourself. Your heart and soul often get in the way. I lied to myself for years on why I was eating uncontrollably, part of me knew why but I wouldn't admit to it. My life was never going to change until I came out with the truth, and when I did it felt like the world was lifted off my shoulders. My goal is to never again lie or cheat myself. I use the word goal because we are all vulnerable and we are bound to make mistakes from time to time.

I challenge everyone to be honest with themselves even if you don't like the answer. I want you all to join #rockybalboamode with me, whatever your goals are we can achieve them together.

When I need inspiration I watch these rocky clips:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmbfZT_mCSI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1tXhJniSEc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJh5J3FPEkk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rclb5vMwc_8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NubH5BDOaD8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UaLL79KJEc

Also this is my Rocky Balboa Mode Playlist:

Not all the songs are Rocky related but they each mean something important to me.

Better off Alone - Alice Deejay *I always warm up with this song*
Perfect - Simple Plan

No Air - Jordin sparks
Meet you there - Simple Plan
Mysterious Ways - U2
With or Without You - U2
Always - Bon Jovi
Let the drummer kick - Citizen Cope
God Loves ugly - Jordin Sparks
One Step at a Time - Jordin Sparks
Dear Mama - Tupac
Eye of the tiger - Survivor
Going the distance - Bill Conti
Burning Heart - survivor
No easy way out - Robert Tepper
Hearts on fire - John Cafferty
Mickey - Bill Conti (<----this is the perfect cool down song!!!)

Updated Progress Pic

2010-07-01T18:18:00.000-04:00

I am finally starting to see a difference between my old body and my current body. To most people my weight loss has been obvious but its funny how it takes your own brain awhile to catch up. I can honestly say I haven't smiled at a picture of myself in the last 10 years. The picture on the right makes me smile, I haven't reached my goals yet, but I am well on my way. :-)

Cheat Day? ... Why would you cheat yourself!

2010-06-29T22:44:00.000-04:00

What do the words "healthy lifestyle" mean to you? Eating Right? Exercising? An all around effort to be healthy?

I think alot of people don't really understand what it means, while it probably means different things to different people I think there is common ground in most meanings. And I am not criticizing anyone in this post other than myself, I am guilty of everything I am writing about but I also have started to evolve my train of thought on the subject.

In the past I would eat healthy 6 days a week and workout most of those days. Then the magical day 7 know as the "CHEAT DAY" would find itself on my front door step. I will be the first to admit I used to love that day! I would treat myself to anything I wanted for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I would convince myself that what I was doing was OK, I worked out and watched what I ate all week for crying out loud! Things have changed for me, CHEAT DAYS and my goal of living a healthy lifestyle cannot coexist in my world. I hate the term and I hate the idea behind it. Who really would want to cheat themselves? Not me! Also why in the world are we rewarding ourselves with food?! For me it has the same agenda as emotional eating, when bad things happen emotional eaters eat, so when we do good things we are supposed to eat also? This makes no sense to me, and I think it goes against the idea of a healthy LIFESTYLE. Why not reward yourself with a new shirt or a day at the spa, it could be anything other than food.

So the new me is done with cheat days, its no longer a word in my vocabulary. I don't eat healthy foods so that I can eat whatever I want on a certain day. I eat whatever I want on any day! I just happen to choose healthy food on most of those days because I have chosen to live a healthy lifestyle. That doesn't mean I cant eat junk food or fast food. In fact the other night I took my 8 year old cousin to see Toy Story 3, afterwards he wanted to go eat at Five Guys and I said ok. I ate a cheeseburger, we split a order of fries, and I drank water. My meal had 1,150 calories. I knew exactly what I was eating and I knew exactly how many calories it had before I ate it, to me that is living a healthy lifestyle. I know the food was not healthy, but I also knew that I don't eat like that everyday. There was no emotional eating involved, I was in complete control. I have learned to distinguish between when I am really hungry and when my emotions tell me I am hungry. I am achieving a health lifestyle by my own choice.

For people who use the cheat days I am in no way talking down at you, like I said before I am just as guilty as anyone else. I just wanted to give a different point of view. I really do believe that a healthy lifestyle is what you make it, and in my case I just wanted to be honest with myself.

BOTTOM LINE: Never cheat yourself

My good deed for the day...

2010-06-26T22:05:00.003-04:00

So today the craziest thing happen to me. I was driving home from watching the USA soccer game and I passed this little girl playing in her front yard on a pretty busy road. I didn't notice anybody outside with her and as soon I passed her I just felt something was wrong! I looked in the rear view mirror and could still see her getting closer to the road. I knew right away I had to turn around and go back. I couldn't turn around because I had cars behind me and there were oncoming cars in the opposite lane. Somehow I just reacted, I made a right turn into someones yard and I could see her walking towards the road. I slammed on the gas and tore through about 3 peoples yards trying to get back to her. When I got close enough I jumped out of my truck and started to run in her direction. She looked me right in the eyes and smiled as she was about to step into oncoming traffic, thankfully I snatched her up before she could. She was one of the most beautiful little girls I have ever seen. I started to carry her back up to her house when her family ran outside yelling and screaming. They ran over to us and I have a feeling they thought I was trying to kidnap her but I quickly explained to them the what happened.

When I was walking back to my truck I felt so relieved, I got in and drove off. A few seconds later I got the weirdest feeling and my whole body started to shake! It freaked me out so I pulled over to calm down. I took some deep breaths and tried to relax myself. I don't what came over me, maybe my body was reacting to all the adrenaline? This all happened around 5 pm, I have felt weird ever since it happened. There has been so many times in life when I have seen something that was wrong and I didn't have the courage to say or do anything about it, and I regretted it every single time. Alot of what held me back in the past was my weight, I didn't want to attract attention to myself. As the weight comes off my confidence in myself increases. I have been in hiding for way to long and I am starting to bust out of this shell.

There was alot of traffic on that road today, it really burns me inside that nobody else stopped to help that little girl. She was only 3 years old, she didn't know any better. I am glad I was in the right place today. She probably has no idea that I helped her today, and she will never know what she has done to help me...

Small Victory Today!

2010-06-24T00:35:00.002-04:00

So today I experienced a small victory! I used to dread going to get my haircut because 1.) I hated the fact that I had to squeeze into those small salon chairs and 2.) I hated looking at my bloated face in the mirror for those 15-20 minutes. So today when I got to the salon and sat down in the chair I noticed a huge difference! I easy fit in the chair and actually had alot of room to spare! Also I noticed how much my face has changed, I actually liked what I was seeing for a change. I swear the small victories are sometimes the most rewarding. I felt really good today.

The next victory that I want extremely bad is being able to fly worry free, flying haunts me in every way! I hate going to airports even to pick people up because I know people stare and hope that I am not sitting next to them on their flight. I haven't been on a plane in a little over a year and half. When I was working I used to have to travel alot so I was often dealing with my worst nightmares. I would often pay of pocket to upgrade to business class or first class so that I could avoid some embarrassment. Also since I am currently looking for work nationwide I am freaked out by the fact that I might have to fly to different parts of the country for interviews, I am down 88 lbs since the last time I flew but it still makes me extremely nervous.

I know one thing though, when I do reach that victory its going to be an amazing day!!

My First 5K event!

2010-06-13T22:52:00.016-04:00

So yesterday I participated in my first 5k event! It was the Susan G. Komen for the Cure 5k. For years I have been wanting to participate in this event but I was always ashamed to because of my weight. The truth of the matter is I have spent most of my life in hiding because of my weight ,and that's no way to live. I used to worry about people staring or about what they were thinking when they saw me, or the whispering and the snickering. But very recently I came to the conclusion that the same people who would criticize me for being overweight are very likely the same people who would criticize me for trying to get healthy. I actually think there are people like that, they just want to beat you down for any possible reason. I don't care what those people think anymore, this is my life and I am taking it back and I wont let anyone stop me, and YOU shouldn't either.

So the night before the race I started to feel nervous, I set 6 alarms on my cell phone so I wouldn't oversleep! I woke up every hour that night, its funny how your brain knows you have a big event the next day. 630 am finally came around and I got up showered, had breakfast and headed to the event. I met my mom and little brother at 745 am and we started walking up to the event. It was already hot and humid that early in the morning! I was amazed at how many people were actually there, I had no idea the event was that big! I instantly felt self conscious and uncomfortable. This might sound weird but thank god I had my sunglasses, I don't know why but I always feel like they are a small protective shield for me. I really wanted to turn around and walk back to my car but I wasn't going to let myself do that. I was there and ready to do what I came to do. We had about 30 minutes until start time so we walked around to see all the different booths.

This is a pic of me and my mom waiting for the start, I think you can tell from my facial expression I was feeling a little out of my element.

They finally announced it was time for us to approach the starting line. Once again I was amazed at how many people were participating! We walked up to the starting area and 5 minutes later we were off! It felt great to pass the starting line, I knew I was doing this and there was no going back. Me and my brother teamed up to walk together while my mom walked with her friend. The energy I felt while walking with all those people was indescribable. I slowly but surely started to feel that I belonged there like everyone else. About halfway through mile 1 I again realized how hot it was, the heat waves were bouncing off the ashpalt and onto my body like rain drops. I just told myself one foot in front of the other until I cross that finish line.

This is pic of all the people as we started the race: 25,000 people registered!

We reached the mile one marker and the clock said 22:35 , now my goal was just to show up and walk the event, but deep down inside I had a goal for a 20 min mile pace. When I saw that clock I knew I had to pick up the pace and get moving!

I started to push myself harder, I knew I could make up the 2:35 on the hills. I have strong legs and the will power to push myself up those hills! And that's what I did! When people were slowing down on hills I was passing right by them. It was such an awesome feeling, I know a few people did a double take! I marched up every hill like it was nothing! The people on the sidelines cheering us on were amazing, a few people even yelled out my bib number and said looking good! It felt good to know people were behind me, I have the bad habit of always expecting people to be against me.

Finally reached the mile 2 marker! I had shaved exactly 2 minutes of my pace time!

After reaching the 2 mile marker I started to develop a blister or something on my left foot, I should not have worn my Nike shocks since they aren't completely broken in yet! Blister or no blister I wasn't slowing down. By this time I was soaking in sweat, the heat was almost unbearable. A saw a few people quit the race because they couldn't take it. I was feeling amazing right about now, I loved looking behind me and seeing all those people. I am used to being in the back of the pack but not on this day!

The finish line was finally in sight and a huge smile filled my face. Alot of people started to run towards the finish, I wanted to do the same but I haven't built up the courage to run in public yet. I will fight that battle on a different day.

I finally got to the finish line and saw my time! 1:00:13 !! I would say I accomplished my goal of a 20 min mile pace!

I don't have a word to describe how I felt after crossing the finish line. Yeah alot of people can walk 3.1 miles, its not that huge of a thing to most people. To me it was more than just walking 3.1 miles, I do that at the gym 2-3 times a week. It was the fact that I came out and showed 30,000 people that I am taking my health back! I wasn't hiding that day, I was out in the open doing something that I have always wanted to do. A huge wall came down inside me after crossing that finish line,I was so proud of myself.

This is me right after the race, soaking wet with sweat! It was truly a sweating_it_off day!

Another pic of me and my crazy mama after the race!

This was my first 5k event and it wont be my last. I fought my own battle that day while helping to fight the battle of breast cancer. I was able to raise $160.00 dollars for the cause, and I want to recognize the people who sponsored me in one way or another.

Ryan Sobus RD - http://www.healthydietsinc.com/ *my personal RD*
@FitInMyHeart - http://www.footdr69.wordpress.com/
@travelgirl007 - www.beachbodycoach.com/travelgirl007
@DareToBecome - http://www.daretobecome.com/
@prnewman - http://www.istilltri.blogspot.com/
@BetterFitBody - http://www.betterfitbody.com/
@jacaranda67
@weightchica
@beccasgym

Thanks for the support everyone!

check out my slide show of pictures from the event!

Was that really me?!

2010-06-09T01:17:00.007-04:00

So I found some pictures of myself at my heaviest weight which was right around 480 lbs. I cant believe that was me! I find myself mad for letting myself go like that, even though I am heading in the opposite direction I am still pissed at myself for all that lost time. I usually avoided taking pictures in the past, but I am glad that I somehow aloud these to be taken. They just add more fuel to my fire, and confirm that I will never go back to my old lifestyle. Actually you cant even call "THAT" a lifestyle because there was no actual LIFE involved.

I have decided to share these pictures with everyone. This is a huge step for me, I am letting go and not holding anything back or inside. I want my mistakes to help others if possible. Here goes nothing!

Lets see how I look today compared to then.

I would love some feedback on these pictures, I know I have lost weight but sometimes my mind doesn't believe it. That's something I will defiantly have to work on.

Thanks for your support!

Is it weird that I love yardwork?

2010-06-06T01:51:00.011-04:00

What a day today! Woke up around 9am, had breakfast and took off to the gym. I busted out a quick 30 min on the treadmill and 30 min on the elliptical. Now in the past an hour of cardio would have me feeling like I wanted to limp home and pass out!! But now I feel like I can work out hard and still have enough energy do other things after I leave the gym. So after the gym I headed to my moms house, she called me last night and asked if I could come over and help her get some mulch and spread it. Now to most people that sounds like a chore, but to me it sounds like a fun workout! I love yard work, I find it relaxing!

So first thing we did was go get 2 cubic yards of mulch.

The plan was to spread it on the side of my moms house.

Before Pic:

After Pic:

This is another project I did for my mom last summer, we built a raised flower bed. We are in the process of making a lower flower bed in front of it.

This is me after working in the yard all day!

Working in the yard is a great workout, you don't have to be in a gym to burn those calories! You should try different activities in these warmer months such as hiking, walking outside, roller blading, biking, paddle boating, kayaking, swimming. You could also organize a big family athletic game such as soccer, football, softball, kickball, baseball, and my favorite volleyball. Or you could have a huge water balloon fight!! Bottom line is get outside and have some fun! Yes its hot outside but that's why we have water and ice so use it!

DONT FORGET YOUR SUNSCREEN!

Meditation after working out!

2010-06-02T17:46:00.002-04:00

OK I know what you are all thinking when the word meditation comes to mind.

Was I right? Just say I was! :-)

For me meditation is something I do after I workout and stretch. It helps me stay focused on my weight loss goals. Often times after I have an extremely successful weight-in I find myself feeling like I can cheat or take it easy. I sometimes get to comfortable and I hate that feeling. Yes I have lost over 80 lbs but I am still far from my overall goal and I need to constantly remind myself of that fact. At the same time I think its important to set small goals for yourself because sometimes the big picture can be overwhelming. But back to the meditation. All I do really is find a place in the gym where I can just sit down with my eyes closed and reflect. I also usually listen to two songs which I will share in a bit. I sit there and think about why I am working out, why I choose to live a healthy lifestyle, and how I plan to meet my goals. I mean for me I need this daily reminder, it helps keep me on track. Whatever your goals are, whether they have to do with your weight or not, I think everyone could benefit from this reflection time.

The first song that I listen to is: The Mickey Theme from the Rocky. For those of you who don't know I am a HUGE Rocky fan. They are more than just movies to me, they symbolize never giving up and always fighting until the end. And even more importantly they remind me of the wonderful memories I have of my Dad and me watching the movies together, and how he was always in my corner.

The second song is Enya - Waterfall. I wont go into much detail about what this song means to me for personal reasons, but it is extremely relaxing.

THE CHALLENGE:I want everyone to try a 5-10 min meditation after working out and email me about your experience, share anything you would like with me such as: what music you listened to, what you thought about, if you liked or disliked it, etc.

Email me at: sweating_it_off@hotmail.com

Dim the lights please!!

2010-06-01T19:19:00.003-04:00

So today I had an appointment with my RD today. Everything went great, we made a few minor changes to my meal plan. I am definitely glad I made the decision last September to seek out the help of a dietician. She is extremely supportive and always takes the time to answer all my questions in a way that I can understand. Also accountability is a huge thing with me, knowing that I have to go see her ever couple of months helps keep me on track. Of course I wont be making these visits forever, but for me this is part of the learning process I need to help me continue my healthy lifestyle.

I also weighed in today!
*drum roll please*

I weighed: 397 lbs!

That's right people, I have knocked down the 400lb door! And I will never ever walk back through that door again!

This is a huge milestone for me and I thank everyone for their support!

Big day tomm!

2010-05-31T20:37:00.002-04:00

So two things are happening tommorrow. I have an appointment with my registered dietician, and I am weighing in! I have been trying to break through the 400lb wall and into the 300's for the last two weeks. I hope that tommorow I will see a number on the scale that starts with a 3!

Won this awesome book on Twitter!

2010-05-31T20:24:00.003-04:00

So I won this awesome book called, "6 weeks to a Healthier You". One of the writers Cherly Forberg who is the Registered dietician for the show Biggest Loser even signed it! Cant wait to read it! It looks like it has alot of useful tips and recipes.

Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure series®!

2010-05-27T23:04:00.004-04:00

Hey!

I have decided to do the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5K walk on June 12th!

Please help me reach my fundraising goals if you can!

http://nctriangle.info-komen.org/goto/sweatingitoff

I wrote this guest blog post for http://katdoesdiets.blogspot.com/ Its called Looking in the Mirror

2010-05-20T10:12:00.002-04:00

So there I was last night sitting on the couch watching biggest loser. On this weeks episode the final four contestants were returning from a 30 day home visit. They showed footage of how each of the contestants handled being at home but one story hit home with me. Daris from Oklahoma was struggling with finding ways to deal with his stress. He found himself raiding the kitchen in the middle of the night eating away his emotions. Watching that I instantly felt like I was looking in a mirror. I have spent many nights wandering through the kitchen and digging through the pantry in search of food to ease my emotions. It’s something that I deal with everyday, and yes most days I am in control but every now and then it will get the best of me. I haven’t always been in control of it though, it took me eating my way into a 480 lb body for me to realize it was time to take control of my life and health and redesign my lifestyle.

I really want people to know that emotional eating is REAL. I know it’s hard to understand unless you have been through it, but it does exist. I have a very supportive family, but they haven’t always been like that. A lot of my family members would shun the idea that the reason I was overweight was because I ate my emotions. They just figured I was lazy and didn’t know when to stop. It was really frustrating at times when I would try to justify why I ate, just that phrase “justify why I ate” really bothers me. I finally stopped justifying and started modifying my habits.

So I have made great progress, I have lost almost 80lbs since September 2009. I still have a lot of weight to lose but I am up for the challenge. But with this small victory sometimes my family forgets that I still battle with my urges to eat every day, they seem to think that since I lost some weight that the urges magically disappeared. About a month ago I had a serious conversation with my mother. More than anyone I wanted her to understand what goes on in my head. So we sat down and she asked me what’s going on? I told her I wanted to talk to her about my emotional eating and before the words even left my tongue tears were streaming down my face. I mean that’s how painful and sensitive this subject is for me. I asked her to not speak and just listen to me until I was done.

I told her,

“I want you to understand that my emotional eating is an extremely serious problem. I know that I have lost some weight but the urges are still there. This is a problem I will deal with for the rest of my life, I am not going to lose 250 pounds and magically have my urges just disappear. It’s something I will have to control for the rest of my life and I have accepted that, and sometimes I don’t feel like you guys take it seriously. I sometimes feel like you guys think I am selfish. If I don’t put myself first who will? Nobody will. When I decline offers to eat out with the family or skip family time to hit the gym for a workout you guys sometimes give me a hard time about it. I have to be somewhat selfish in this battle; nobody is going to do the work except for me. I want you to know that I can win this fight but I will not let anyone or anything get in my way and I don’t want anyone to take it personally.”

My mother completely agreed with me, and I want everyone to know that my mother is my biggest supporter. The things I said weren’t necessarily directed at her, I just wanted to make sure she knew how I felt and what was going on in my head. My mother did ask me one question, “if you knew why you were eating then why did it take you so long to take control of it?” I told her it’s one of the easiest things in this world to be honest with someone else, but it’s one of the hardest things in this world to be honest with yourself, and it took me a very long time to realize that. I sincerely believe that the first step of taking control of this problem is being honest with yourself. You are going to have good and bad days, but the most important thing is not letting a bad day turn into a bad week, month, or years. I often say, “failure is not the act of giving up, it the act of not bouncing back”.

My heart goes out to anybody who is dealing with this problem. If you need someone to talk to, need advice, or even have questions, please feel free to contact me. I also invite you all to check out my blog and follow me on twitter.